Positive Election Disease

A disease that affects a person's ability to reason. People with this condition suffer from irrational delusions that a candidate in an upcoming election will "change everything", "keep their promises" and/or "get things done". Other symptoms include, but are not limited to: believing politics is interesting, putting an election bumper sticker on your otherwise valuable automobile, passing out leaflets and yard signs, and actually reading propaganda mail. Outbreaks generally occur in a 4 year pattern coinciding with presidential elections, although extreme cases will lead the victim to feel this way toward all elections down to county level, especially in die-hard partisans. It will affect Democrats and Republicans differently depending on the candidates and election conditions. Positive Election Disease (PED) gained unprecedented media coverage during Barack Obama's 2008 Presidential campaign, marking the worst recorded epidemic of PED in America.

Facts about PED:

PED feeds on bipartisanship.

Lobbyists are naturally resistant to PED.

PED may affect up to 95 percent of partisans during election time, but affects less than a third of all Independents.

Douchebags are 10 times more likely to get PED.

Network news makes it worse.

PED can cause rioting, especially in developing African countries.

PED does affect politicians, but such cases are quickly cured by lobbyists.

During off-years PED survives in San Fransisco.

douchebag: "Barack Obama will bring change to America! He's going to fix the economy and fix healthcare the right way and he's going to get Democrats and Republicans to work together."

registered independent: "Man, you got Positive Election Disease really bad."

by IndependentForever November 1, 2009

Positive Stereotype

When you say something that could be considered stereotyping or racist, but it is phrased in a non-negative way.

Fred: Yea my black friend Joe had those mad black hops at the game last night!

Bert: That is such a bad stereotyping!

Fred: No, no, I'm just using a positive stereotype. I'm being positively racist.

by Schubs August 30, 2010

What currently has a positive verticality?

A nerdy way of saying "what's up?" Usually only used by nerds with at least some partial social skills. When used by a socially inept nerd, it will generally be spoken to one who wouldn't understand. This is commonly responded to with "The vast expansion of blue, or some sort of solid between it and myself"

Sheldon: "what currently has a positive verticality?"
Penny: huh?
Sheldon: I said, what currently has a positive verticality?. My god woman, can't you hear?
Penny: I meant, what did you mean by that?
Sheldon: well, since a positive value is...
Penny: Can I just say the sky?
:nerds in audience laugh:
Sheldon: Amazing, you were able to pick the right answer, though you forgot to mention the solids between it and us
Penny: Whatever, look, is Leonard home?

by PiFreak October 7, 2009

Net Positive

A person who has evolved in his communications and data management to the point of considering obsolete the use of text messages, cd burning, and games not played online.
A Net Positive person does not watch TV, neither goes to movie theaters; if not downloadable, he says, it is not worth the bother.

A: "Yo... let´s go to see Date Night."
B: "You mean... to the cinema?"
A: "´Course!"
B: "Forget it... Net Positive."

by rperazag June 22, 2010

positive or negative

Two extremes which help classify each person, place, thing.

They met Saturday. The man complimented her beautiful face telling her her features were those of classic greek or italian women. She thanked each time he found a different way to say that and did everything within her power to create the most positive first impression by speaking perfectly and looking at him lovingly, which he also complimented her on. When by coincidence her mother, father, and brother entered the supermarket, they saw her talking with the man at a table in the eating area and said hello to the girl but did not approach them. Seeing how unattractive the members of her family initially looked to him turned him off, but over the weekend he fell in love with her, and Monday he realized that he considered external appearances unimportant, and that—thinking twice—the members of the girls family were also unpretentious. So, in time he got to know them and like them. Seeing they were poor, a few weeks later, he invited them to be partners in a new childcare business.

Though most people generally agree on what is positive and what is negative, one individual may interpret a thing to be positive, and a different individual may interpret it to be negative. Do you consider that chain of events to be positive or negative?

by but for February 13, 2018

Body positive

Body Positive! Eating whatever you want! And then crying about it after :( But posting on instagram that you’re sexy, even though you truely don’t believe it

Interviewer - “What does body positive mean too you?”

Confident person “ Body Positive! Eating whatever you want! And then crying about it after :( But posting on instagram that you’re sexy, even though you truely don’t believe it”

by MsGirl May 22, 2021

positive

a positive person is one who has confirmed by way of a blood test that they have been infected with the hiv virus; the very virus that causes AIDS.

I was at a casino and this chick wanted to bang me. She said, "Hey, we can do it, but I am positive, are ayou?" She also referrenced that she liked it up the back.

I didn't know what she meant by positive so I declined. Fortunatley I did not bang her in the ass as she would have infected me with the virus that causes AIDS.

by nick April 23, 2005