benjamin johnathan briggery briggs aka "the skinwalker" , "boogalie" or simply "it", is a large, lankey, orange being known to roam around public parks and lithuanian embassys during the night trying to capture little
boys to use in its experiments. it is known for being a test subject for heffley trafficking inc. its true form is believed to be so revolting, slimy, hideous, oily and dandruffy that anyone who comes into contact with it is simply too shocked and horrified to breath. for centuries there have been reported sightings of it and its lovers, xaviwavi, jamal and zac. in order to summon this ungodly creature the
words "i cant do a pushup" , "i enjoy watching
porn" or simply "we go
jim" must be recited 3x and it is believed to show up immeadiatley and suck you through its
phat hairy orange arsehole to the heffley trafficking inc dimension where you or your test subject will be experimented on. there are some well known repellants that have been used against it are: basic hygene, regular
porn,
hentai, women and
people who are against crypto.
A- "bro there was some 8ft
thingy hiding near that
house!"
B- "oh fuck, be careful it may be
benjamin johnathan briggery briggs"