Florida Cheerful

Someone who lives in Florida and pretends nothing cynical happens, always looking for positive news when in Michigan someone was pulling a Betty Crocker crime as in she was making brownies with Exlax. You will known the screen names of those when you see them. Don't let them hear you say the term to their face because they know they're being insulted to the core. This one goes back to back with Florida Baptism as you see them come up together.

What is this? Okay those who expect everyone go around not swearing, speaking of taboos or disowning material that's their most well known -- expecting them to use the word 'dropsies' well sorry that's not me. Those who are the Florida Cheerful you will know it when you see it -- mention The Cabbie Homicide around them or read "Yest Ye Become One" around them and see what happens.

by illinoishorrorman December 30, 2018

Florida Freshener

When you buttfuck a girl in a chlorinated pool.

I gave a girl the Florida Freshener last night.

by Badaducci March 15, 2019

Florida Sweetbreads

Floating human shit found in a natural body of water like a lake, river or ocean that was intentionally released from someone’s bowels.

I hung my ass over the pier and dropped some Florida sweetbreads.

We were swimming in the river and we dropped some Florida sweetbreads to keep the gators fed.

I was boogie boarding and pretty sure I surfed past some Florida sweetbreads.

We were boating all day and I dropped a few Florida sweetbreads through the day off the side.

by Dick Onchin October 18, 2020

Florida toothbrush

When someone brushes their teeth and spits it on a penis and then gives them a blowjob.

Oh man, I want to give you a Florida toothbrush.

by TurkeyBaster69 May 2, 2021

North Florida Moody Bear

Not to be confused with any bears of the genus ursa. This borderline mythical creature has been known to haunt the isles of Trader Joes and other locations where overpriced groceries are sold to wealthy suburban whites. The North Florida Moody Bear is known for it's grooming behaviors including, but not limited to, its proclivity to spend excessive time in the bathroom to ensure it's hair is immaculate. This is a highly social organism that is known to be extremely social, frequently they can be seen flirting with human females. While they often appear quite tame, domesticated even, don't let your guard down as they will respond violently to anything that causes messes in their natural habitat. They have bizarre sleeping habits that result in often trying to sleep however very rarely actually succumbing to slumber. This species becomes most aggressive when awaken from its slumbers so it is advisable to never slam doors in it's presence. This is an anomalous organism that has left biologist dumbfounded as it is sustained entirely by la croix, and frequently goes months without consuming anything else.

Did you hear about jim?
No, what happened?
He died, he slammed a door outside of a North Florida Moody Bears bedroom.

by Survived a moody bear attack May 31, 2018

Goodland Florida

Goodland is a small drinking village with a fishing problem. It is located in the depths of the Florida Everglades. Marco Island is located a bout a mile away, and Marco residents go to Goodland to get hammered at Stan's Bar or to buy meth.

"Hey I'm running out of meth and need to replace my MAGA hat! What do I do?"

"Have no fear lets just go to Goodland Florida!"

by dbetten7 December 24, 2020

Florida

The godforsaken Sunshine State renowned for weather and beaches. Florida is noteworthy for having no discernible season changes. Well-known for its subpar education system, Florida is home to Florida State University, a party school known for its football team and its acceptance of anyone who has a pulse and can spell his or her own name correctly. The population here is an amalgam of inhabitants from elsewhere; if you wish to find a retired New Yorker, go to any one of Boca Raton's 5,000 retirement communities; if you want to find a Latino/Hispanic/person whose first language is Spanish, turn around. Florida is a geographic anomaly in that the farther north you travel, the more Southern it seems (and sounds like), and the farther south you go, the more it seems like Cuba (as evidenced by the Little Havana area of Miami). Still, Florida, as a whole, is without an easily recognizable dialect. All place names here are either of Spanish (Punta Gorda, Boca Ciega) or Native American (Tallahassee, Econolockhatchee River) origin, or contain the word "orange" in them. Florida decor has inexplicably come to mean "a seafoam green and pink couch with a watercolor pelican painting." Floridians are not known for good taste; also missing are driving skills, especially in the frequent rain, and voting know-how.

-"Florida's a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live here."
-"Bah! Go back to New York, you snowbird."

by penguinatrix August 15, 2004