Shag carpet

A carpet to shag on

"Hey, a shag carpet! I didn't know you two were swingers!"

by America Lover 🇺🇸 November 17, 2018

burned the carpet

Having sex with a woman until her vagina hurts, usually caused by a lack of lubrication.

Manwhore003: Man that bish over there is walkin kinda funny.
Manwhore004: Yeah, I burned the carpet last night, she was out of K-Y.

by Dr4T7 February 16, 2006

Captain Crunch Carpet

When the carpet by the side of your bed gets hard from all the jizz you ejaculate and later get rid of by smearing it on the side of the carpet. Later that morning when you step on the dry jizz it makes that CRUNCH noise.

carpet+jizz= captain crunch carpet

by Stubs714 December 14, 2009

Laying down the Carpet

The act of laying down, or placing a single or a double segment of toilet paper on the surface of the water in the toilet bowl, in order to stop or significantly reduce "splash backs" when relieving oneself.

"I felt the urge to take the biggest crap yesterday and I was afraid I might get some splash-back, so I laid down the carpet before I initiated. 60 percent of the time, it works.... EVERY TIME!"
"Laying down the carpet saved my ass from years of shitty water splashing my asshole."

by Roogz April 9, 2008

Bulgarian Carpet Bomb

When a guy from a great height takes a watery shit all over a load of people partying

Yo Dude did you get invited to Gibbs party?

No man, but i'm gonna take a load of laxative, sneak into the rafters then give them all a Bulgarian Carpet Bomb

Woah Dude Rightgeous

by Reverend Pope May 20, 2009

Carpet Cruiser

A person that crawls around on the carpet looking for any small amount of drugs they may have dropped while getting high.

Leroy ran out of crack at 3 a.m. It is now 6 a.m. and he is still Carpet Cruising. I saw him smoke three pieces of drywall and one pretzle crumb already. Look at those carpet cruiser rug burns on his knees....so sad

by sbd April 9, 2006

Eat Carpet

When a man or woman performs oral sex on a woman. The term is more often described with respect to lesbians than heterosexuals. Proper technique involves putting her clit in your mouth and lightly sucking on it while slowly moving your tongue either up and down or in a swirl. It is important to maintain the same speed with the tongue movements. The combined sucking, warmth of the mouth, and tongue will produce orgasms that can last 30 seconds or longer. Some women are able to continue having additional orgasms, while others prefer to stop after one.

Sarah spread Jeniffer's legs and then eat carpet slowly until Jeniffer came and screamed.

by MalePussyEater December 9, 2008