Jesus Your Ass

To nail someone to a cross; to crucify someone.

If you don't shut the fuck up I'll Jesus your ass.

Jesus Your Ass by shepj April 27, 2009

Jesus In A Box 

A tabernacle, which contains the concecrated bread, and likewise "body," of Jesus Christ.

The priest went to the Jesus In A Box to get me my Holy Cracker.

Jesus In A Box by Jerry November 15, 2004

jesus titty f*ckin' christ 

Used to express surprise, digust etc esp. in a comedy nature

See "Team America": As Michael Moore blows up Mount Rushmore, Spotswoode declares "Jesus Titty Fuckin....", just as the bomb goes off.

jesus titty f*ckin' christ by David Hunt September 9, 2005

jesus juice 

jesus juice is a kool-aid but with poison in it. it is not coke with beer or any other alcohalic beverage in it.it was used by the leader of some guy using religion to get people to do what he wants.

noob:GUYS! THE HAVENS R COMING! DRINK THE JESUS JUICE!!
everyone:*dies of drinking jesus juice*

jesus juice by mewone November 23, 2009

jesus humper 

synonymous with bible thumper. Someone who tries to impose their conservative religous beliefs on others.

A jesus humper tried to convert me.

jesus humper by ? January 3, 2005

jesus motocross 

The first "x-treme" sport that Jesus participated in during his greasy teenage years, along with Moses Wakeboarding and Muhammad X-Treme Action Suicide Bombing.

"Did go Jesus Motocrossing today?" "Fuck no. I'm Native American."

jesus motocross by $$$ February 21, 2004

Jesus-is-my-girlfriend 

Adj., a Contemporary Christian Music (also called CCM) song that means to appeal to an audience outside of typical listeners of CCM by replacing "Jesus" with "You" in hopes of making the Christian content of the song less obvious to non-Christian listeners.

Creed pisses me off. They try to sound like a genuine effect of American counterculture, but it's just a bunch of Jesus-is-my-girlfriend music that Christians think is cowardly and non-believers see right through.

Jesus-is-my-girlfriend by nappy pappy May 4, 2008