dead beat dad

Someone who does not pay child support, hasn't had a steady paycheck in at least a year, has a hooker of a girlfriend who has slept with at least two of his best friends, still lives with mommy and daddy and parties with people way too young for him because he doesn't know what priorities or responsibilities of a father should be.

"Wow, people really are oblivious to the difference between a playmate and a responsible father, huh?"

"Yeah, they don't see he is such a dead beat dad!"

See also buddy, playmate.

Antonyms- the gorgeous single guy across from your office, who is financial stable, has a successful job and wants to take you AND your daughter out.

by JONNYBEGOOD7583 June 26, 2010

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Suburban Blues Dad

The Suburban Blues Dad --Sections 1-3:
SECTION 1. Outward Appearance:
Goatee/mustache combo, always trimmed to a neat level. Sometimes balding and still trying to rock the long hair.
Over 50, but can be as young as 35.
Summer: "cargo shorts," "mandals", wearing a polo shirt with an embroidered company logo on it. Seldom tattooed.
Winter: Spotless Wilson's leather, recent tour t-shirt from Rush, Jethro Tull, and jeans are relaxed-fit and pre-faded. Also seen with "dockers" trousers.
Seen in Brewpubs with cougar wives the only ones dancing.
SECTION 2--Instrumentation:
Guitars: Fender "strat" or "tele"--spotless '57 reissue
Any Paul Reed Smith guitar
Bass: Any Bass with over 4 strings, period.
Chapman Stick (anyone who plays this should be shot anyway)
Amplification: Trace Eliot, Roland Jazz Chorus, and/or Hartke equipment.
Other Amps: All reissues.
Drums--Too many and too expensive for ability level. If he sings "harmonies" (see below) he tends toward the headset mic.
Keyboards: Too loud and usually shitty sounds.
SECTION 3: Choice of Music:
ALWAYS: anything SRV, and/or a cover of "Little Wing." Also George Thorogood. Dead giveaway signs.
OFTEN: Skynrd, and various other southern "bluesy" bands.
SELDOM: Any song under 10 minutes.

My brother got married, had a couple of kids, moved out to Woburn and became a Suburban Blues Dad. Now he plays once a month at some brewpub up there.

by Scumwaffle September 25, 2010

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Asian Dad Driving

An asian dad, frequently born of Mainland Chinese descent, that drives so intensely that it makes the anal sphincter muscles of his passengers contract upwards for the entire duration of the ride. This happens so much in the districts of North Burnaby that most people can't even shit right.

usual scenario of Asian Dad Driving:

"yo dad stop tailgating my ass is getting sore from all the excitement!"

"FUCK YOU"

*crash*

"wow thankfully my insurance can't go any higher sup!"

by thebrownbrothers March 04, 2007

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My Dad is Dead

A statement of obvious fiction but believed to be true by the uneducated to be used in cases of awkward silences, as a result of too much caffeine, etc.

My dad is dead.
-He is?
Yeah he died this morning.
-I'm sorry to hear that.
Haha I'm lying you are an idiot.

by JFLisa October 14, 2007

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