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sad monkey

A pitiful saying one friend says to another when they're feeling miserable, but don't care enough to find actual words to comfort them with.
Friend 1: UUUGGGH! MY LIFE SUCKS!!
Friend 2: Whys that?!?!
Friend 1: I lost my cell phone, my boyfriend dumped me, I just got grounded and I have a mountain of homework!!
Friend 2: Aww...sad monkey :(
by pheeble October 5, 2009
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Snatch Monkey

Wow I cannot believe that stupid snatch monkey ratted me out.
by Logan, Alexa, Casey September 28, 2008
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hedge monkey

Usually found at the free party, wearing either a dark hoody or some variation of hippy clothing made from 'hemp' or whatever. The Hedge monkey won't make any sense if spoken to, instead they will blurt out a mish-mash of random words all muddled together before laughting a little, pulling a rediculous contorted face, swaying a bit and taking a swig from the spliff in their left hand and trying to smoke the can of special brew in their right.
It is not uncommon to see crusty lumps of ketamine amalgomated with snot on the hedge monkeys nose.
A hedge monkeys hair is usually home to many animals and used as a home by local birds and cats.
Hedge monkeys have their own dance, a strange repetitive forward-backward motion, like you'd imagine an insane person to do. usually to psy-trance, techno, acid tecnho, gabba etc...
Are you coming to the free party to hedge it with us?

Look at that hedger, she's set her legs on fire with her poi-chains

The club had more hedge monkeys than all of Goa
by Jonno January 16, 2004
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monkey sperm

a ruff looking blonde beard on a guy.
Stephen Pack has a long monkey sperm on his chin.
by chris pittman April 29, 2006
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Drunk Monkey

The art of returning home and climbing on your (sober) girl to act like a porn star after an excessive night of drinking.
I pulled the drunk monkey on my lady last night.
by G November 26, 2003
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monkey spank

men fucktard townie

A guy who wastes his time spending hours playing playstation or spanking his monkey (masterbating).
Erika: "Sean, why are you being such a monkey spank? You've been playing playstation for fucking hours! Why don't you do some homework or hang out with your girlfriend?"
by The Anrkissed May 11, 2008
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