Decorate my Christmas tree

Proposition a woman for sex while she's on her period.

"Hey baby, why don't you toss that tampon aside and decorate my Christmas tree."
"Um...why are you in the women's restroom?"

by Redwings15 March 21, 2016

White Christmas

The art of having extremely kinky sex in a hotel in the month of December and when you have finished you leave without cleaning up your "mess".

Guy: Hey baby wanna have a white Christmas
Girl: You know I do

Guy: How bout that hotel right around the corner
Girl: Sure, shall I bring our box full of toys?
Guy: Yup

by IHOP Eating Cow Zombie March 30, 2016

real christmas hours

between 2:30 A.M. And 3:30 A.M. On Christmas Day.

Hey Donald it's real Christmas hours hitta!

by Rich the kid April 3, 2016

christmas sausage

A sausage received on Christmas Eve or Christmas day.

That Christmas sausage could last for several days.

by HillshireFarms November 23, 2018

Christmas Decorations

Lights and inflatables to show your love for Christmas during the holiday season. Mostly ruined by insane people putting their decorations up as soon as Halloween ends or sometimes even earlier.

"I need to put my Christmas decorations up."
"ITS NOT EVEN SEPTEMBER YET"

by youngsavage69 November 25, 2018

Christmas

The holiday we all pronounce wrong, because really, it's called "Jesus Christ Mass". But we pronounce it, "Chris Miss". Are you sure you miss Chris? He was a jerk.

But really, it's the time of year where we captivate trees for our own pleasure, hanging useless objects on it with metal hooks and strings. We receive all the things we don't deserve, and act like we're happy, when really you want to scream because Santa didn't give you what you wanted.

"I really Christmas"
"That doesn't make sense"
"SHUT UP CHRIS! I'M HAVING A BREAKDOWN"

by summer sausage November 25, 2018

Homeward Christmas Fuzzies

the fuzzies you get when you’re cycling or walking homeward during the christmastime, when it’s quickly getting dark and the silent streets feel warm (even though it’s almost freezing).

Mother: "Did you mind walking home this evening?"
Daughter: "No, I got the Homeward Christmas Fuzzies!"

by Ms. Type Writer November 28, 2018