Reading the Paper

A phrase used to nonchalantly tell someone that you are smoking marijuana. The phrase brings with it a large number of puns that can be quite humerus.

Friend: (Calls you on the phone) Hey man, what are you doing?

You: I'm just sitting around 'reading the paper'!

Friend: Sweet, so I guess you got the 'news'!

You: Totally got the 'news'!

by TheGreatBigD August 26, 2014

Toilet Paper

Something unnecessary during the 2020 coronapocalypse. Ok, people were quarantined, but Corona was NOT a shitting disease. People went vicious for toilet paper, scratching and clawing and in some places, even stabbing each other to get a fucking piece of paper to wipe their ass with.

Girl #1: What’s that scratch on your face from?

Girl #2: Oh, it’s from when I got the last roll of toilet paper.

by Sophia Duarte March 18, 2020

Paper Towel Rich

When you’re definitely not rolling in money, but you feel like a big spender because you’re tearing off three or four paper towels at a time to handle a tiny spill. This is the kind of rich where you’re not counting sheets, you’re just living that lavish life with extra absorbency.

Alex: "Whoa, are you seriously using four paper towels for that little coffee drip?"

Jordan: "Yeah, I’m paper towel rich now. I don’t have to play it safe with just one anymore."

Alex: "Dang, living the high life, I see!"

by The Josh Speaks November 4, 2024

Paper Stamp

The act of dipping ones balls in a bucket of drywall mud and then teabagging a lazy or napping member of the constitution crew. Add a peice of drywall tape to make the stamp complete. Members of the #505 local union are the G.O.A.T at the paper stamp.

Mike: "Hey Joe, do you see John's lazy ass sleeping over in the corner?"

Joe: "Yeah , fetch me my mud bucket, I'm about to paper stamp his bitch ass face".

by My name is mud. January 18, 2025

Paper Straw Effect

When people design a flimsy straw to save the turtles, but ignore that paper straws cause much more pollution to make, defeating the purpose. This is the effect where people care more about looking eco-friendly rather than being eco-friendly and practical.

"Damn, they redid the packaging with green cardboard and wrapped it together with denim, it's soaked from the rain too"
"Seems like they were affected by the Paper Straw Effect"

by Nightx378 November 11, 2022

Toilet paper

A piece of cloth-like paper with mostly 100-500 pieces of paper to wipe your booty and your ¥

I used toilet paper to wipe me booty hole

by Lizard_Monster99 January 24, 2022

paper job

The sexual act of getting several paper cuts on the erect penis and then receive a blow job until it stops bleeding.

He received a paper job in the bathroom.

by I create more jobs than trump December 10, 2016