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Paper Weight 

Noun: A useful person that isn't helpful enough.
Oh thank you Uimet for triggering the boss. We appreciate your bunny ears but that doesn't make you deserving of fucking up and being immune to criticism, you fucking paper weight.
Paper Weight by Endo-Chan February 18, 2020

faggy paper weight 

A person who is extremely lazy and sits on other people's desks at work. Also known as FPW.
David came over and sat on my desk for 20 minutes again...he's such a faggy paper weight...
faggy paper weight by Intraweb October 14, 2005

paper weights 

A slang term for bras knuckles
Yes, Id like to buy a pair of paper weights
paper weights by Drifter4 January 15, 2008

expensive paperweight 

An object that may have had an original purpose (usually electronic devices) or a concept model of something else, but in any case unable to serve its intended purpose except as a display item or a paperweight
Since many of these paperweights, especially those of the old electronics category, required a larger investment at its initial purchase, these paperweights become expensive, hence, the "expensive paperweight"
I found an old ipod in my uncle's basement, but it doesn't even work anymore so now it's just an expensive paperweight!

Is that a BlackBerry?
It WAS a BlackBerry, now it's just an expensive paperweight!

Whoa is that seriously a holographic infrared keyboard?
Nope, this is just the concept model for a holographic infrared keyboard that got rejected during the pitch... So now it's just an expensive paperweight!

Nashville Paperweight 

Defecating on a coworker's desk - usually while they're on vacation.
Joe enjoyed his trip to the Bahamas, but - upon returning to work - he was dismayed to find that Frank had left him a Nashville Paperweight.

paperweight mode 

when an electronic device is rendered useless either through suicidal behavior or user incompetence
Guy 1:"Hey man can I play your PSP?"
Guy2:"Nah, its been in paperweight mode ever since i tried to hack it but fucked up."
Guy1:"Well, FUCK! That sucks."
Guy2:"Yea, so does your mom."