by TheRealModernDayShakespeare281 March 30, 2022
Get the Jesus queef mug.Some dude that has sex with a lot of women and impregnated all of them then leaves them with the gift of a fatherless child. He also does birthday parties.
“Hey have you heard of the sex jesus?”
“Yea I have that’s my dad.”
“I heard he’s the dad of 1/23 of the planet”
“Yea I have that’s my dad.”
“I heard he’s the dad of 1/23 of the planet”
by Havesafesex April 14, 2022
Get the Sex jesus mug."hook and loop" straps (note: the originals are known as "velcro")
these straps contain and manage cords, cables, ropes...e.t.c. , keeping them from catching on anything and everything,
or transforming themselves into a tangled mass! (or wrapping themselves around "the baby's" NECK !!)
the natural law is: when carrying ANYTHING (like a tv) the dangling cord will catch itself solidly on something, where one has to 'break stride' to get it free. this would NEVER happen in 5,000 tries at throwing the cord at the offending catch point! it ONLY catches when carrying something unsecured!
these straps contain and manage cords, cables, ropes...e.t.c. , keeping them from catching on anything and everything,
or transforming themselves into a tangled mass! (or wrapping themselves around "the baby's" NECK !!)
the natural law is: when carrying ANYTHING (like a tv) the dangling cord will catch itself solidly on something, where one has to 'break stride' to get it free. this would NEVER happen in 5,000 tries at throwing the cord at the offending catch point! it ONLY catches when carrying something unsecured!
be right with you! , godda find a way to contain this cord! (response:) try this Jesus strap !
when setting up the PA, the previously attached Jesus straps saved my black ass !
what kind of idiot doesn't secure a cord ?? -Jesus straps your savior, infant!
when setting up the PA, the previously attached Jesus straps saved my black ass !
what kind of idiot doesn't secure a cord ?? -Jesus straps your savior, infant!
by michael foolsley April 14, 2022
Get the Jesus straps mug.Lube Jesus is a god said to have an biliary to transform water to lube, his ability allows him to burst into your house with lube and fuck the shit out of you
by Cloud buyyy April 15, 2021
Get the Lube Jesus mug.The supernatural power that heals airline passengers of their aliments in flight, and is exemplified by the phenomena of more passengers needing wheelchairs when a flight boards then need them on arrival. Most often seen on flights to/from Florida.
Flight attendant 1: we had 20 passengers in wheelchairs when we boarded my flight in Chicago, but when we got to Miami all but 4 walked off.
Flight Attendant 2: Wow! Another miraculous healing by Jetbridge Jesus!
Flight Attendant 1: Amen and Praise be!
Flight Attendant 2: Wow! Another miraculous healing by Jetbridge Jesus!
Flight Attendant 1: Amen and Praise be!
by Kronl January 5, 2023
Get the Jetbridge Jesus mug.by the-great-jet December 1, 2021
Get the zoidberg Jesus mug.A very short person who never brushes there hair and has a serious anger problem and thinks me big brain
by Big brain man February 17, 2022
Get the jesus gomez mug.