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My Dad is Dead

A statement of obvious fiction but believed to be true by the uneducated to be used in cases of awkward silences, as a result of too much caffeine, etc.
My dad is dead.
-He is?
Yeah he died this morning.
-I'm sorry to hear that.
Haha I'm lying you are an idiot.
by JFLisa October 29, 2007
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dead head

1) A fan of the 60's hippy rock outfit The Grateful Dead.
2) To remove the dead seed pod from a plant as part of a pruning reigime. (normally applaied to roses)
3) To give oral sex to a corpse
The dead head was doing a spot of dead heading in his garden.
by black flag June 14, 2004
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Related Words

dead shit

by Icy October 21, 2003
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Dead Dave's Burgers

Wendy's, as Dave, the owner and founder of Wendy's is dead.
Everyplace was closed, and I was hungry, but Dead Dave's Burgers are always open late.
by -=[EP]=-KingArthur[HK] April 25, 2006
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Dead chav

Chav cunt who is not alive anymore. Something to celebrate.
John: Hey look, there's a dead chav over there.
James: Yay!
by YOU, yeah, you! November 1, 2008
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DEADBEAT

A SELFISH SELF CENTRED LIER WHO MANIPULTES PEOPLE INTO BELIEVING THEIR TWISTED LIES, THEY ALWAYS BLAME THE OTHER PARENT. THE PARENT WHO IS RAISING THE CHILD, MOST COMMON LINE A DEADBEAT WILL USE IS
“IM NOT ALLOWED TO SEE THE KIDS” THEY MANIPULATE FRIENDS INTO FALLING FOR THEIR VICTIM STORIES AT TIMES THEY WILL EVEN SAY “IM A GOOD GUY” “I MISS MY CHILD” BUT WATCH WHAT THEY DO AFTER THEY TELL YOU THAT STORY,DO THEY GO AND CRY? OR DO THEY HOP ALONG AND ENJOY LIFE AS NOTHING HAPPENED?
THEY DON’T PROVIDE ANYTHING FOR THEIR KIDS THEY LIVE AS THE KIDS DON’T EXIST, THEY WILL LIKE OTHER PEOPLES PHOTOS OF THEIR KIDS ON SOCIAL MEDIA TO FURTHER MORE PULL THE VICTIM CARD THEY BELIEVE THEIR OWN LIES THEY MEMORISE THEIR LINES AND LIES.
THEY WILL BUY PEOPLE THROUGH “LITTLE GIFTS” TO GET THEM TO SIDE WITH THEM.

IF ONLY THEY PUT AS MUCH EFFORT INTO TRYING TO BE A PARENT AS THEY DO INTO FOOLING PEOPLE WITH LIES AND FAR FETCHED STORIES.
NEXT TIME A DEADBEAT CRIES VICTIM ASK THEM WHEN THEY SAW OR TRIED TO SEE THEIR KIDS LAST ? OR PROVIDED ANTHING FOR THEM?
AND ASK FOR PROOF TEXT MSG ?PHONE CALL RECORD? SOMETHING ANYTHING?
THEY WILL NOT BE ABLE TO PROVIDE ANY PROOF BECAUSE THEY ARE A DEADBEAT.
NEVER LISTEN TO A DEADBEAT BUT RATHER WATCH THEIR ACTIONS AND SOON YOU WILL SEE THE TRUTH AND WHO THEY REALLY ARE #DEADBEAT
I’m not allowed to see my kid most common lie a deadbeat will tell
by Boss run August 11, 2018
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tombstone for a dead dick

The massive belt buckle that drugstore cowboys or hicks wear.
Robyn- look at the size of that belt buckle.
Dave- what? Oh on that dumb ass looking hick. Yeah, that's a tombstone for a dead dick
by Rat Dawg PhD March 13, 2016
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