bladder brain

The inability to concentrate on the simplest of tasks, because you're about to piss yourself.

Especially troublesome in career fields where intense concentration is required and you're stuck, literally, with "nowhere to go". Some such careers are pilot, surgeon, paramedic, and speed shooting competitor.

While driving to an emergency:

Paramedic 1: "Hey man, I gotta take a piss real quick before we get to this call." (Jumps in the back)
Paramedic 2 (Driver): "What the..."

Paramedic 1: "Yeah man, didn't want to show up to a CPR with bladder brain!"

by GrabTheGoBag November 11, 2019

Vestigial brain

Used to describe someone who has lost the ability to think or seemingly without a working brain. Could also describe herd thinking (another word to add) or cult members who no longer think for themselves.

Homer doesn't think anymore... no, he has a vestigial brain.

by uuuddd July 17, 2020

Ape Brain

Somebody who is not very smart; a person that has the cognitive abilities of an ape.

John: hey what’s 9+10
Sam: 21
John: you are such an ape brain, it’s obviously 19 you simpleton

by LeEgg October 2, 2020

shite for brains

The Irish way of saying shit for brains

Did you really put a pizza in the oven for 30 minutes without turning the fucking oven? Come on, shite for brains, use common sense!

by what do i care 125 February 9, 2022

Mass Brain

A viral condition common in people who attend mass and then proceed to do their grocery shopping. Symptoms include a lack of environmental awareness, ignorance, inability to listen, dilly-dallying and camping shopping aisles in an attempt to figure out if they want to buy a product or not. This condition is especially common in senior shoppers who have attended mass and have now decided to slow down retail staff due to their lack of perception. “Mass Heads” can usually be identified by their woollen clothing, thick prescription glasses, slow pace and downright brain dead questions.

Old man : How’ya Mary? Any craic this morning?

Old woman: Ah John are ye well? I’ve a fierce case of Mass Brain this morning, the priest fairly blabbered on about the New Testament and now I’ve the notion to stand in the middle of a busy shop chatting pish.

Old man: Ah Jaysus! You and me both!

by angryretailworker November 24, 2019

Pigeon Brain

The brain of a pigeon is about the size of the tip of an index finger. A pigeon brain can also refer to the proud human owner of such a cerebrum.

"Did you see Sean Hannity's latest segment?"
"Who is that?"
"The Fox News anchor"
"..."
"You know the pigeon brain one"
"Aah yes!"

by Omlax October 27, 2020

South Brain

Slang term for not only testicles, but the tendency to act based on lust rather than good sense or logic. ie, "He's thinking with his south brain."

A: I hear Joe got Heather pregnant
B: Yeah, he was thinking with his south brain

by Crazy Coyote July 16, 2019