bench warmer

The art of busting ass in someone's chair while unoccupied to allow them to bask in the aroma when they return.

This is typically accomplished in an office setting but can be enjoyed anywhere.One must be very careful not to shart when performing this gracious act.

"John just left his desk... I am going to go bless his bitch ass with a bench warmer".

by Storm Martin March 9, 2008

bench warmer

The act of farting in someone's chair while unoccupied to allow them to bask in the aroma when they return.

This is typically accomplished in an office setting but can be enjoyed anywhere.

"John just left his desk... I am going to go bless him with a bench warmer".

by Storm Martin March 8, 2008

bench player

a substitute player.

The football team has only two bench players.

by uttam maharjan August 30, 2010

bench fucking

Much like bench racing (i.e. estimating how one's car will kick another's car's ass, based purely on horsepower and feel of said cars; often done while kickin' back a few brews with your bros), bench fucking includes, but is not limited to, drooling over/ogling a girl/woman and relating to your friends what you would do to her or whether you would even consider taking her out. Can also be used with innuendos (I'd like to check under her hood!)

Vinny: "Man, check out that fine honey over there!"
Pauly: "Damn son! I'd like to give her a pearl necklace and probe her holes!"
Tony: "You two need to quit bench fucking chicks and actually get some pussy!"

by thejewishcarguy October 6, 2011

bench off the crap

a phrase used to tell someone to:
-Be quiet
-give me nachos
-i like turtles
-your stupid
-ruby and sarah are good names for babies if you want hot children
-google it i dont give a shit
-i just farted and it smells so bad, need to lay off those nachos
-or used randomly in a sentance just to interrupt their conversation to annoy them
Originally comes from the song "get your crap off the bench" by the small and not well known acapella group "ruby sarah and friends voice" but was changed while the perfomers sang the song whilst drunk.

Person 1: Ohhhh, i just got a text from..
Person 2: Bench off the crap, no one gives a shit
Person 1: aw :(

by giantone September 10, 2012

bench warmer

hasnt gone to 1st 2nd or third base in their life...hasnt gone out with anyone

woah that chiks a bench warmer!

by *SoFaKiNg* April 19, 2004

bench licker

someonne who likes to lick where other peoples asses have been

Your breathe stinks Bench Licker

by Dick April 10, 2003