Schrödinger's Faggot 

When someone thinks traps aren't gay as long as you can't see the dick

Guy 1: Traps are gay
Guy 2: If you don't see the penis it isn't
Guy 1: "it's not gay as long as I don't see the dick"
Guy 1: Schrödinger's Faggot

Schrödinger's Faggot by Protegent August 28, 2017

Schrodinger's Keys 

When car keys are misplaced, their location is unknown as well as their non-location. Therefore, they exist as a wave function in all locations which collapses upon observation of the keys following The Heisenberg-Schrodinger Lost Key Postulate. Which also hypothesized that you cannot simultaneously know the locations something isn't and not know where it is.

That party was wild, lost my keys but I found them in the FREEZER this morning! You really dont know where your keys aren't till you find them, totally like Schrodinger's Keys!!!

Schrodinger's Keys by aalh November 12, 2014

Schrödinger's Can 

A beverage can that has been open for days and may or may not have a bug in it. You can't see into the can to get a clear answer, therefore the can simultaneously does and doesn't have a bug in it until you pour out the whole thing and see for yourself.

"I wouldn't drink that, man. It's been out for a while. It's a real Schrödinger's can at this point."

Schrödinger's Can by BoredCollegeKid April 6, 2016

Schrodinger's Handjob 

When you tittyfuck a girl who has a flat chest so its not really a "handjob" but its also not really a "Tittyfuck"

man 1 - "Bro i just got a great tittyfuck from my girlfriend"

man 2 - "bro your gf is super flat are you sure it wasn't just a Schrodinger's Handjob"

Schrodinger's Handjob by Beastman723 April 7, 2017

Schrodinger's Irony 

When someone says something that is of controversial nature, then decides whether it was irony or not based on the other people's responses.

Guy 1: "I fucking hate everyone"
Guy 2: "That's not very nice..."
Guy 1: "Chill, it's just a joke ok?"
Guy 2: "Yeah sure, that's just Schrodinger's Irony"

Schrodinger's Irony by AlcoholVolcano June 27, 2020

Schrodinger's Project Manager 

A workplace phenomenon where resources assigned to a project are simultaneously worthless and invaluable, where the act of interacting with the project manager forces a classification.

"I know it's not something we normally do, and I know you're not responsible for it, however can you perform this backlog of clerical tasks?"

"I just don't have enough resources allocated to my team, I'm missing my deliverables and I'll need more of your time"

Person 1: "I can't believe our PM made us attend that four hour meeting... We told them we didn't have anything to contribute, and they're telling me they need my pull request in by tomorrow because the project is behind"
Person 2:"Yup, Schrodinger's Project Manager"

Schrodinger's Project Manager by Bob Costas' Gym Teacher July 1, 2020

Schrodinger's Kim 

When North Korea's Leader has been assumed to be dead but there is no information to confirm or deny the claim.

Person 1: "Did you hear that Kim Jong Un might be dead?"
Person 2: "Yea but he's Schrodinger's Kim until anything is said about it"

Schrodinger's Kim by weswes887 April 28, 2020