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Somone who uses endless buzz words and centres their existance around a load of paperwork, meetings, conference calls and turning every task, no matter how small, into an epic display of verbal and written diarrhea. Jobs that once needed a sensible tradeperson or two, now need to be a project with a project manager. They sit between the workers and management and are very good at being on the side of whoever they are talking to and ensuring that they are never in the same room as both workers and management. Commanding huge amounts of money, they are gifted in prolonging everything.
"I think we need to change the tap washer in the toilet because its leaking but there may be some issue with finding the stop tap and if too much torque is applied we could snap the fitting and all get drowned. Better get a bank loan to employ a Project Manager to make sure that doesn't happen"
by Projectman December 09, 2011
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A job role. The role is to ensure project is delivered on time, By on time, this means in half the time that is needed to complete all tasks and with half the necessary staff. This role is highly sought after by people that love using meaningless buzz words to hide the fact that don't understand any words said to them in meetings. They will often been seen looking dazed and confused at their computers after spending 9 hours sending meeting requests, rescheduling meetings, going to meetings, holding "catch ups" after meetings in which you need to explain to them what happened in the last meeting and stalking you when your not in meetings with them. They think all other staff are magicians and can't understand why the status update has not changed from yesterday because they forgot you were in meetings with them all day. They live in an imaginary world where they think they understand concepts are likeable by many and think everyone has shit phones because no one answers their calls. Generally they are the root cause of all mental health issues 8n the modern workplace and will go their entire working career oblivious to the fact everyone thinks they are giant cuntasauruses.
"who moved that date forward 4 weeks?"..."the project manager said you could still get it done"..."FFS, I need a mental health day"
by Ninjaella September 12, 2018
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