Skip to main content

Goonerism

A soul-crushing, dignity-vaporizing descent into hentai-fueled oblivion, where every shred of self-respect, ambition, and human potential is violently sacrificed at the altar of endless, wrist-snapping depravity. A gooner, once a functioning person, devolves into a dopamine-addicted troglodyte, eyes sunken, skin pale, body frail—marinating in the warm glow of their screen as they edge closer and closer to complete neurological collapse. Conversations? Forgotten. Dreams? Replaced with AI-generated waifus who wouldn't acknowledge their existence even if coded to. Relationships? Nonexistent—unless you count the parasocial bonds they've formed with fictional characters and cam models who milk them like brain-dead cattle. The peak of their life is a pixelated orgasm, followed by an existential horror so deep it could make Lovecraft weep. Goonerism isn’t just a habit—it’s a one-way ticket to being a functionally extinct human being.
"Once a promising young man with dreams and ambition, Jake succumbed to full-blown goonerism, wasting away in the dim glow of his monitor, his only accomplishments being a collection of cursed bookmarks, a wrist that could arm-wrestle God, and a level of self-loathing so deep it could be measured in fathoms."
by N0rs3GOd March 14, 2025
mugGet the Goonerismmug.

The Last Gooner

Infamous Nautica Malone, also known as “The Gooner”, “Deathstroke”, etc. He is seen riding in his black dodge challenger also known as the “The Goonrider” or the “The flying Goonman”.
“Yo you see that car? It reminded me of The Last Gooner”.
by The Jelqmaxxer March 10, 2025
mugGet the The Last Goonermug.

Gooner

Someone who constantly jerks their shit
My mate Rylan Berry is a HUGE gooner (fake name)
by TheSandManTwentyTen March 28, 2025
mugGet the Goonermug.

Gooner

Someone who partakes in gooning

IE: Philippe Parr
You are a mad gooner !!
by Helper worder July 11, 2025
mugGet the Goonermug.

Post-Goonerism

When you watch porn and jack off so often that you stop feeling anything from it, so you end up retreating back into the real world.

Usually can be defined when someone finds watching porn or jacking off boring and slowly decides to stop jacking off entirely.
Chad: yo bro why is James taking walks outside in the park all of a sudden? he used to stay inside all the time.
Joe: James is having post-goonerism, the dude decided to touch grass now
by auxre November 15, 2025
mugGet the Post-Goonerismmug.

Gooner

1: The name for fans of North London club: Arsenal Football Club. Derived from Arsenals nickname of “The Gunners”.

2: Someone who cannot stop thinking of, or talking about pornographic content and material.
1: “Man, I love them gooners! better than whatever is at the emptihad!”

2: “Dude, David is such a gooner. We gotta turn on safe search for him.”
by Smellypoopyfartslol September 19, 2023
mugGet the Goonermug.

gooners

we are gooners
by j.tk27 January 25, 2024
mugGet the goonersmug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email