two seater douche canoe

One who is filled so much with douche that it would fit inside a two seater canoe.

That kid is the biggest kind of jerk. One might call him a two seater douche canoe

by SwagBadger August 28, 2012

Douche canoe

A fuckhead that is the size of a small boat.

My ex boss was such a douche canoe. She constantly lied about staff behind their back.

by Peaches&Boo January 10, 2017

Douche canoe

A person who has exceeded the levels of douche bag and is not quite douchey enough to be considered an asshole.

Guy 1: Carl is such a douche bag!
Guy 2: That's an understatement, he's a douche canoe!

by Gotham in ashes August 31, 2013

Douche Canoe

Douche Canoe (noun): A self-absorbed, obnoxious individual who drifts through life on a raft of arrogance, bad takes, and an utter lack of self-awareness. Often mistaken for a human, but upon closer inspection, closely resembles a sentient, poorly groomed toe with an attitude problem because he likely sat on a pinecone.

Example: Kyle, the human embodiment of a stubbed toe, leaned back in his chair, manspreading like he was claiming land, and loudly explaining why everyone else was wrong about literally everything. Between flexing his "elite genetics" (despite looking like a swollen big toe) and hitting on anything that moved, he remained blissfully unaware that the entire room was desperately hoping for a strong gust of wind to carry his douche canoe far, far away.

by Sassenach March 14, 2025

Douche Canoe

Noun:

An individual capable of such douchebaggary, that their capacity well exceeds the confines off just a bag.

That Billy Hotdog is such a douche canoe, he had to sign a written agreement with his boss, limiting his overabundant workplace douchebaggary.

by Bigbrothathunda!!! September 19, 2019

Douche Canoe

Synonym of "douchebag" coined by politically correct tumblrites who found using "douchebag" as an insult misogynistic, but failed to realize that it's the "douche" that connects the term with women, not "bag."

"He's totally a douchebag but I feel like using douchebag as a term to label people as jerks is insulting to women so can we call him, I dunno, a douche canoe instead? Thanks."

by G-Dale November 26, 2017

douche canoe

someone who is the worst person, so much that they're as bad as several douches combined

"Ugh, I really hate him."
"I know right? He's such a douche canoe."

by Bitch Canoe December 12, 2023