gooned

yo bro i gooned yesterday
by anonymous October 5, 2023
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goon squad

the homeless coons on dayz who are known for talking hella shit then failing miserably
yo you see what happened to goon squad?

nah what happened?

we wiped there shit then gave it back, then took it again.
by white_supremacy445 April 2, 2022
mugGet the goon squadmug.

Goon

A U.S. citizen who participates in military style firearms and tactical training in order to be proficient in combat. Whether to defend the U.S. mainland from foreign invasion or potential government tyranny.
by Goon1776 August 18, 2022
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The sacred art of flicking one's penis or clitoris between strokes or rubs, altering between flicks and rubs. This achieves a rhythm so divine that it promises a state of unparalleled pleasure. The term draws inspiration from the biblical promise of the land of Canaan to Abraham—a covenant of fulfillment and maximum goon pleasure and volume.

In this context, however, the "land of milk and honey" is less about geography and more about the boundless euphoria found in perfectly synchronized flicks and strokes. Legend holds that even G-d sits in the celestial cuck chair, edging while marveling at the ingenuity of its own creation's ability to out-goon the holiest of holy.

Practitioners believe this technique ensures maximum engagement with the pleasure centers, occupying the body and mind as fully as an ancient prophecy fulfilled.

Truly, it is a modern pilgrimage for the devoted in gooning.
USAGE 1:

Brian: Yo, where’s Dave? We’re trying to run this trio in valo rn, and he’s not responding!

James: Oh, it’s Shabbat. You know how he gets. He’s probably deep into his daily Canaanite Flicker Gooning. Something about “honoring the ancestors” while also achieving “maximum occupation of pleasure.” He’ll be back after he’s, uh, spiritually fulfilled?

USAGE 2:

Sammi: Where the hell is Sarah? We’re all waiting for her to pick a movie, and she’s MIA.

Jessica: Bruh, it’s Friday night. You already know she’s deep in her Canaanite Flicker Gooning session—probably ass-naked on her bed, double-flicking like she’s summoning ancient spirits. She says it’s about “embracing divine pleasure” or some shit, but let’s call it what it is: she’s just trying to goon herself into the promised land of milk, honey, and whatever else she can squirt out.

Sammi: Honestly, fair. If I could flick my bean into a transcendent coma, y’all wouldn’t see me on movie nights either.
by 000Six_Six000 December 10, 2024
mugGet the Canaanite Flicker Gooningmug.

Flicker Goon

Just like flicker jabs, you make that swinging motion in your neutral, when its time to jab, ea: goon, you sling your hand like Ryo Mashiba in hajime ippo, this time, instead of your arms having insane reach with your jabs, its your goon blast shooting very far
Dang bro, i had a flicker goon jerkmate ranked match with a guy, he lasted 2 seconds linger than my personal record; 5 seconds!
by Johnathus Semen July 5, 2025
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Astral-Flicker-Gooning

An primordial Gooning Technique which is often described as profane, ghastly or even „Patrick-Bateman-Mango,Mango-Ohio-Sigma“

The user indulges in a goon all the while consuming unfathomable amounts of „Snow “ and Tom/Femboy Spanking Videos ® from the best Country in the World Ivory-{Coast} ®. After enough time has passed the Goon/er/ette recieves Transcension and will furzhermore strip onesself of any mortal bindings and ascends to the astral-realm only known through prehistoric scroll as „Gary Indiana,USA“. The Life-Seed of said Mortal will traverse this vacuous Plane of Nonexistence and impregnate a woman in Bulgaria or Burkina Faso (50/50 Chance). The afflicted Fetus will sadly be stillborn and all wells in the surrounding areas will moreover only ever harbour stagnated H2O (Thou in possesion of information💀).
The origins of this technique are still unknown but its speculated that it played a major role in the „Great Viaduct Ball-Dipping-Predicament of March 19th, 3 BC.“.
The First confirmed performer of this frivolous act was „Duke Gaper Bingzoid Jr. II of Rizztown ®“. He allegedly used this penale technique to silently rise to the rank of Pontiff.

This Technique is often confused with „Chinese-Soul-Flicker-Gooning“ or „ ៹ ͇ ᭪ ̶̵̲̺̫̌̋̇͊͘͘͜͟ ༢༘ ᭔ᬼ

࿆ ꧒ ꧃ ᬉ ༾)“.
Yesterday i was Astral-Flicker-Gooning ® all over my Friends volumptious, scrumptious and child-bearing thighs while I deepened my Insight over the futile state of our decaying and rusting world where every day as etheral as he may is tainted by the looming threat of our own humanity and averice. Only at the end will THE GAZING FEW bathe our starving minds in there blissful rays while they claim there rightful throne among our hollowed carcases and husks while only the ashes of the things which where thought to be everlasting and rightous remain in this truly wretched world, so devoid of Astral-Flicker-Gooning ®.
by May or May not be A Chill Guy December 9, 2024
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Shadow Gooning

The process of gooning in a meditative state, as in secretively gooning, often in public, without physically stroking your shi.

synonyms: Shadow Stroking, DFRB special, Hodgin it, Stickin it.
"Damn Jonny, are you shadow gooning with Ben and Nick again? I told you to invite me you fucking asshole."
by Nightjar_7 June 15, 2025
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