by MrGamer101 May 16, 2025
Get the goon-cavemug. A variation of regular flicker gooning (masturbating or "gooning" while repeatedly flicking the tip of the penis at a quick pace to achieve farther ejaculation), said to have been created by the Aztecs around 1300.
The Aztec flicker gooning technique was so effective that cumshots could reach distances of 100 to 500 meters. Some Aztecs, who specialized in this technique, could reportedly shoot as far as 1000 meters.
Not only was it capable of extreme range, but it also provided a level of pleasure unmatched by any other form of masturbation.
According to legend, Aztec warriors used this technique as a weapon, with their semen traveling at such speed and distance that it could heavily wound enemies upon impact.
Some believe that flicker gooning played a role in Aztec rituals, to summon or bring sacrifices to the gods of gooning and edging. Though there are not enough sources to confirm this for certain.
Unfortunately, after the European conquest of the Aztec Empire in 1521, all knowledge of how to perform the Aztec flicker gooning technique was lost.
The Aztec flicker gooning technique was so effective that cumshots could reach distances of 100 to 500 meters. Some Aztecs, who specialized in this technique, could reportedly shoot as far as 1000 meters.
Not only was it capable of extreme range, but it also provided a level of pleasure unmatched by any other form of masturbation.
According to legend, Aztec warriors used this technique as a weapon, with their semen traveling at such speed and distance that it could heavily wound enemies upon impact.
Some believe that flicker gooning played a role in Aztec rituals, to summon or bring sacrifices to the gods of gooning and edging. Though there are not enough sources to confirm this for certain.
Unfortunately, after the European conquest of the Aztec Empire in 1521, all knowledge of how to perform the Aztec flicker gooning technique was lost.
"We learned about the Aztec Empire in history class today. Their gooning technique was wild. I wish I could learn the Aztec flicker gooning technique and shoot my load 500 meters!"
by Sir. Glizzy III November 15, 2024
Get the Aztec flicker gooningmug. The act of inserting rock into the foreskin then surrounding the penis in rocks and rubbing the rocks on your penis in a up and down motion.
by currypowder42 January 27, 2025
Get the Indian rock gooningmug. DOOM GOONING is defined as the action of oneself Doom scrolling through explicit pornographic reddit posts (Typically r/titties) Whilst vigorously beating thy meat in an animalistic fashion to achieve a heavenly orgasm.
by Quandale_DingleBalls69 May 30, 2024
Get the DOOM GOONmug. A man that's loyal to his men's and his gang he will always have your back when you need him I will never talk shit about you
And will never lie to and will always stay right next to you
And will never lie to and will always stay right next to you
by Ckulglad r.je January 7, 2020
Get the Goonsmug. The sacred art of flicking one's penis or clitoris between strokes or rubs, altering between flicks and rubs. This achieves a rhythm so divine that it promises a state of unparalleled pleasure. The term draws inspiration from the biblical promise of the land of Canaan to Abraham—a covenant of fulfillment and maximum goon pleasure and volume.
In this context, however, the "land of milk and honey" is less about geography and more about the boundless euphoria found in perfectly synchronized flicks and strokes. Legend holds that even G-d sits in the celestial cuck chair, edging while marveling at the ingenuity of its own creation's ability to out-goon the holiest of holy.
Practitioners believe this technique ensures maximum engagement with the pleasure centers, occupying the body and mind as fully as an ancient prophecy fulfilled.
Truly, it is a modern pilgrimage for the devoted in gooning.
In this context, however, the "land of milk and honey" is less about geography and more about the boundless euphoria found in perfectly synchronized flicks and strokes. Legend holds that even G-d sits in the celestial cuck chair, edging while marveling at the ingenuity of its own creation's ability to out-goon the holiest of holy.
Practitioners believe this technique ensures maximum engagement with the pleasure centers, occupying the body and mind as fully as an ancient prophecy fulfilled.
Truly, it is a modern pilgrimage for the devoted in gooning.
USAGE 1:
Brian: Yo, where’s Dave? We’re trying to run this trio in valo rn, and he’s not responding!
James: Oh, it’s Shabbat. You know how he gets. He’s probably deep into his daily Canaanite Flicker Gooning. Something about “honoring the ancestors” while also achieving “maximum occupation of pleasure.” He’ll be back after he’s, uh, spiritually fulfilled?
USAGE 2:
Sammi: Where the hell is Sarah? We’re all waiting for her to pick a movie, and she’s MIA.
Jessica: Bruh, it’s Friday night. You already know she’s deep in her Canaanite Flicker Gooning session—probably ass-naked on her bed, double-flicking like she’s summoning ancient spirits. She says it’s about “embracing divine pleasure” or some shit, but let’s call it what it is: she’s just trying to goon herself into the promised land of milk, honey, and whatever else she can squirt out.
Sammi: Honestly, fair. If I could flick my bean into a transcendent coma, y’all wouldn’t see me on movie nights either.
Brian: Yo, where’s Dave? We’re trying to run this trio in valo rn, and he’s not responding!
James: Oh, it’s Shabbat. You know how he gets. He’s probably deep into his daily Canaanite Flicker Gooning. Something about “honoring the ancestors” while also achieving “maximum occupation of pleasure.” He’ll be back after he’s, uh, spiritually fulfilled?
USAGE 2:
Sammi: Where the hell is Sarah? We’re all waiting for her to pick a movie, and she’s MIA.
Jessica: Bruh, it’s Friday night. You already know she’s deep in her Canaanite Flicker Gooning session—probably ass-naked on her bed, double-flicking like she’s summoning ancient spirits. She says it’s about “embracing divine pleasure” or some shit, but let’s call it what it is: she’s just trying to goon herself into the promised land of milk, honey, and whatever else she can squirt out.
Sammi: Honestly, fair. If I could flick my bean into a transcendent coma, y’all wouldn’t see me on movie nights either.
by 000Six_Six000 December 10, 2024
Get the Canaanite Flicker Gooningmug. A U.S. citizen who participates in military style firearms and tactical training in order to be proficient in combat. Whether to defend the U.S. mainland from foreign invasion or potential government tyranny.
by Goon1776 August 18, 2022
Get the Goonmug.