pokin' turtle

the last minute right before you have to poop, and your poop is poking and in out of your butt

damn girl, looks like you got a pokin' turtle!

by heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey July 13, 2006

Ninja Turtle Feet

The way socked feet look after spending time in flip flops.

Didn't have time to put on shoes this morning, guess I'll have Ninja Turtle Feet for the rest of the day.

by Mrmcchicken March 9, 2012

Squirting Turtle

The spread legged shuffle a girl does after sex on the way to the toilet after not using protection, desperately trying to hold in any semen before making it to the shower/toilet.

Oh my god, my boyfriend has it so easy after we've had sex. I totally have to do the squirting turtle to the bathroom while he just lays there.

by Sexasauras September 29, 2012

Decapitate the turtle

when you are turtle heading, or plain taking a dookie, and you "cut loose" the protruding mass of excrement by clenching your sphincter tight mid turd

"damnd that was a long crap, i had to decapitate the turtle before it touched the water"

by Dan the pc butcher February 29, 2008

Crystal Spring Turtle

Giving somebody a crystal spring turtle is a sexual act. It involves one parter "prairie dogging" a piece of feces in and out of their rectum, while the other either urinates or ejaculates on the half protruding feces. The partner then pulls the feces back in, like a turtle retreating into its shell.

Guy #1: Hey bro i heard you gave Sally a crystal spring turtle last night

Guy#2: Hell yea man! I crystal spring'd all over that turtle!! Jealous??

Guy#1: Uuuhh...not really

by Badassboyscout May 13, 2009

Nuclear Turtle

When your bowel movement results in a mushroom cloud of stench arising in the immediate vicinity. Then you observe below you in the toilet bowl the illegitimate spawn of some sort of amphibians from the bikini atoll test site. Most of the time a nuclear turtle is of a green color in some or all of its outer coating, although a black and brown variety has been reported.

My sh*t just hit critical mass, nuclear turtle imminent!

by TurtleBomber October 1, 2010

magic turtle

The last section of a bowel movement that refuses to pass, instead coming to rest just inside the anus.

While not uncomfortable, the wiping process is greatly impacted. Unknown to the sitter their ass is clean, however, each wipe creates creates a slight relaxing of the sphincter which leads to light contact between paper and turd, making it appear that there is some mysterious and unexplainable trickery going on.

Jill: Who blocked the toilet with all this paper?
Ben: Sorry, I had a magic turtle.

by Joshua James December 10, 2006