Burglar Wank

Pleasuring yourself to climax whilst your partner lays asleep next to you in bed (in the dark)

You won't believe it Raymondo, but I had a burglar wank last night and my wife didn't even stir. Came from the bottom of my bollocks mate

by aljazmin November 12, 2021

Wank Murder

Suicide, taking one’s own life, onanicide

“Did John kill himself?”

“Yes he committed, Wank Murder”

by Kyle Pseudo October 16, 2019

Hate wank

To punish one’s self for poor performance you masturbate using deep heat as lube.

Johnny lost another client today, he went home to punish himself with a hate wank.

by This_guy0885 November 2, 2023

spite wank

When you get called a simp and are told not to jack it so you wank it in {spite} of the person.

She called me a simp so I pulled a spite wank later that night.

by Alb3rt5 May 26, 2020

Cave Wank

The act of gently inserting a fist into a woman's uterus, followed by his penis and masturbates while his fist is inside of the uterus.

"Dude, my girlfriend is so dirty I cave wanked the fucked out of her last night"

by hellotosis August 28, 2018

Safety Wank

The act of masturbation prior to a sexual encounter, used to prolong intercourse.

Person 1: "Brooooo, I'm hooking up with Amy tonight!"
Person 2: "Oh nice dude, she's so hot!"
Person 1: "Tell me about it, I'm going to need a quick safety wank before going to her place."

by BicBoi4000 August 27, 2021

radar wank

Friends and family around feeling horny?

Have a radar wank.

The act of wanking with someone close by while also being aware you could be caught at any moment so you are ready to hide your wood.

My wife was being frigid she went downstairs so I decided to have a radar wank.

by Ronk5 October 5, 2023