Self- Abstinence

Forcing yourself not to masturbate for religious or personal reasons

Guy 1: "Have you seen Timmy, he looks more wound up than usual."
Guy 2: "Dude, haven't you heard, he's practicing self- abstinence."

by thatsdoctormrawesometoyou September 15, 2014

Atmospheric absorption theory

There are a bunch of disembodied dicks and assholes floating in the sky and they are fucking so fast that the air around it absorbs the energy, forming the image of a cloud. Except all the assholes are yours.

Look at that cloud!
Yeah, I know about atmospheric absorption theory.

by Leenoy October 24, 2018

gamer absence

When your entire family is eating dinner but you spend too much time online to get out of your room and eat with them so your chair is empty

When you sit for so long your meat goes numb, we call it gamer absence.

by The Chungus February 2, 2020

THE GREATEST DAY ONLY FOR ABSOLLUTE ALLMIGHTY GOD THE CREATOR OF ALL

May 4th. 5th month, 4th day. is the day only for ABSOLLUTE ALLMIGHTY GOD THE CREATOR OF ALL Nothing else can be celebrated on this day or you automatically get the worst punishment ever by our CREATOR, AND any day around it. better make it the week just to be safe. i don't want no trouble.

THE GREATEST DAY ONLY FOR ABSOLLUTE ALLMIGHTY GOD THE CREATOR OF ALL is finally here AMEN!!!!!!

by Megasus Thirst Jesus Christ May 4, 2022

absence

satans curse on man kind,

When chicks won't put out.

Example of absence:Riverside.

by BIG DADDY DOUGH July 11, 2006

absynthe

REALLY strong liquor! tastes like ouzo! get's you all f***** up! You may see the "green fairy" after a few shots!

Dude - did you see that pink elephant over there?

by Haikiebas84 January 20, 2005

Absolut-ly

n. A word homophonic to the commonly used word "absolutely" , used to indicate use of alcohol while using the homophone as a cover-up so as to preserve complete honesty in answering and to add the element of humor when around friends. Commonly used by middle schoolers, high schoolers, college students, workers with a hangover in the workplace, alcoholics attending meetings, drunk drivers and pilots, and nursing home residents. Derived from the well-known vodka brand Absolut, and its homophone in the english language "absolute".

Mother: So, Bridget, what did you do at that party last night?
Bridget: Absolut-ly nothing at all, mom.

RA: Sir, please open your book bag and empty the contents onto the table
Alan: Dude, I don't need to, I've got absolut-ly nothing in there.

Alex: Am I drunk yet?
Ben: Absolut-ly, and I think Dr. Kolena can hear us, these walls are paper-thin.

by Team Benevolence August 15, 2006