Burglar Wank

Pleasuring yourself to climax whilst your partner lays asleep next to you in bed (in the dark)

You won't believe it Raymondo, but I had a burglar wank last night and my wife didn't even stir. Came from the bottom of my bollocks mate

by aljazmin November 12, 2021

Wank Blank

When you leave someone on read on blank them, simply because you are wanking/jacking yourself off

Dude Sarah just Wank Blanked me

by Creator of The Dictionary December 8, 2019

pump wank

When you beat your meat before meeting up with your girl or side hoe. That way it'll look bigger when you pull it out and slap it on her forehead like a baws.

Me: Damn, my girl is coming over, i better pump wank real quick just to make it look bigger.

by PumpWankMaster May 3, 2017

Fantasy Wank

A wank using your imagination of a particular fantasy e.g fucking your neighbor or teacher or mum or dad

I enjoyed a pleasurable fantasy wank last night over my sisters hot friend

by Max Pickard June 1, 2018

Wank Seat

The component part around which most wank stations are built. This can range from basic units, commonly known as chairs, through to multilevel masterbation apparatus.

I wouldn't sit there, that's Dan's wank seat

by Colin Bucket August 7, 2020

Bridge Wank

The act of holding yourself up by one hand (e.g. On your bed) and holding your other side up with your feet (e.g. On a table or windowsill) and wanking. The increased blood flowing to the penis makes you more erect.

"Dude I just caught my son bridge wanking in his room."

by Harambeisinourhearts August 24, 2017

Allegorical Wank

Cracking one out over an image which serves as a proxy for an intended (but unattainable) object of desire.

See also 'substitute shuftie' and 'simulacral shuffle'.

Baron Von Trapp couldn't make use of the new governess upon her arrival and so popped to the local church confessional booth with an image of the Virgin Mary for an allegorical wank.

by Theilliterate June 28, 2023