professional wank

Having a wank over someone’s LinkedIn profile.

LinkedIn recruiter: Hi! I came across your profile and thought you’d be great for this role.

Me: Please don’t have a professional wank over me

by antlizard March 1, 2021

Bridge Wank

The act of holding yourself up by one hand (e.g. On your bed) and holding your other side up with your feet (e.g. On a table or windowsill) and wanking. The increased blood flowing to the penis makes you more erect.

"Dude I just caught my son bridge wanking in his room."

by Harambeisinourhearts August 24, 2017

Throwback wank

A masturbation session done when thinking about or looking at pictures of someone from your past. Could be an ex-girlfriend from a few years back, your high school geography teacher, or anyone you no longer interact with.

With no clubs open and no chances to meet new people, all James could do was knock out a few throwback wanks every night.

by J. Domain February 26, 2021

Champagne wank

When masturbating and as you are about to finish, you put two hands on and shake like champagne.

Friend: Congrats on your award man
Me: Thanks, I’m going to go celebrate with a champagne wank.

Friend: *laughing* well that’s one way to celebrate.

by JB dick-tionary May 4, 2020

Burglar Wank

Pleasuring yourself to climax whilst your partner lays asleep next to you in bed (in the dark)

You won't believe it Raymondo, but I had a burglar wank last night and my wife didn't even stir. Came from the bottom of my bollocks mate

by aljazmin November 12, 2021

Wank Murder

Suicide, taking one’s own life, onanicide

“Did John kill himself?”

“Yes he committed, Wank Murder”

by Kyle Pseudo October 16, 2019

Wank Blank

When you leave someone on read on blank them, simply because you are wanking/jacking yourself off

Dude Sarah just Wank Blanked me

by Creator of The Dictionary December 8, 2019