Inmate 1: What are you in for?
Inmate 2: I brought a PB&J sandwich to the Peanut Free Table.
Inmate 1: I thought I was the monster.
Inmate 2: I brought a PB&J sandwich to the Peanut Free Table.
Inmate 1: I thought I was the monster.
by Track and Shield November 12, 2021
The lunch table designated for people who are deathly allergic to peanuts to eat at. Usually accompanied by an unoriginal No Peanuts or Tree Nuts sign. Many members of the table are part of a cult organization called Deez Nuts inc. which aims to assassinate the board of directors of the Planters Nut & Chocolate Company. Sometimes used by normal people to help gather their energy to fight through No Nut November.
Cole: Jimmy why are you sitting at the Peanut Free Table?
Jimmy: I am gathering my inner chi to finish the last 7 days of No Nut November.
Cole: Damn I already failed that day 1.
Jimmy: I am gathering my inner chi to finish the last 7 days of No Nut November.
Cole: Damn I already failed that day 1.
by Track and Shield November 11, 2021
Dude, that flight attendant totally peanutized me in the bathroom. I still haven't found that last peanut yet.
by Dominazn September 23, 2015
When you get a box in the mail you open it up and there is packing peanuts inside it is another way to keep your purchase from breaking during shipping like bubble wrap or foam they look good to eat it’s tempting… they look like marshmallows and usually come in colors such as pink white or blue….I’m hungry
Hey look she just got a package in the mail!…what is she doing with the packing peanuts? OMG THOSE ARE TOXIC SOMEONE CALL 911!
by KlttyMeowMeow August 30, 2021
An Instagram-famous rodent who achieved legend status for his adorable antics and undeniable charm. Peanut was the kind of squirrel who could make even the grumpiest cat crack a smile. Unfortunately, his fame caught the attention of the infamous Karen, a bureaucratic buzzkill who apparently took her role as the Department of Environmental Conservation's ultimate squirrel hater way too seriously. Instead of letting Peanut continue to spread joy, she swooped in like a villain from a bad movie, snatching him from his loving owner, Mark Longo, under the pretense of “regulations.”
In a move that shocked the world, this Karen decided to euthanize Peanut after a tragic mishap, proving once and for all that she’s the ultimate embodiment of government overreach and soul-sucking indifference. Seriously, Karen, what the hell were you thinking? You could’ve just let the little guy live his best life instead of becoming the Grim Reaper of adorable squirrels. Congratulations on being the world’s biggest party pooper—may your days be as joyless as your choices!
In a move that shocked the world, this Karen decided to euthanize Peanut after a tragic mishap, proving once and for all that she’s the ultimate embodiment of government overreach and soul-sucking indifference. Seriously, Karen, what the hell were you thinking? You could’ve just let the little guy live his best life instead of becoming the Grim Reaper of adorable squirrels. Congratulations on being the world’s biggest party pooper—may your days be as joyless as your choices!
"Man, I can’t believe Karen went full villain mode and decided to be the executioner of Peanut the Squirrel; she really just took the joy out of life for everyone!"
by SqueweFanboy420 November 05, 2024
by The lord voldermort January 04, 2024
To make a situation or a set of numbers as smooth as humanly possible, smoother even than a babies butt. This often results in ignoring the details and only looking at hot trends.
Jake, can you please review my costing spreadsheet, I know there’s errors in it but I need you to take a look at it and peanut butter smooth it over before you leave.
by Gov’t Cheese November 30, 2022