Jesus Fuck 

-noun
1. An ecstasy-inducing religious experience.

2. A conversation between dating individuals who refuse to have sex, and so choose, instead, to talk about their love for their Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

-interjection
1. An exclamation that is markedly more serious than the traditional words "fuck" or "Jesus." It is pronounced as if there is a comma between the two words: "Jesus, FUCK"

Person 1: What did you and that guy do last night? Did you hook up?

Person 2: You know, he is really religious and stuff. That got in the way, so we decided to Jesus Fuck instead.

Jesus Fuck by BetaBlocker July 8, 2010

Jesus Velocity 

When a massive or difficult project is finished in a relatively short amount of time.

Luke McKinny, cracked.com Over three days, I saw a Beijing street torn up, disemboweled and resurfaced. The roadway was made whole at Jesus velocity

Jesus Velocity by Krashlia July 4, 2012

Jesus on a stick 

a weird food they sell at the Korean Presbyterian church down the street

Dude have you had the Jesus on a stick?
yeah man it tastes pretty good

Jesus on a stick by theczechspam May 9, 2018

Jesus's Knees 

The holiest and most sexy knees you will ever see. They are powerful enough to kill half the universe if Jesus touches them together.

Person: "Oh my god, have you seen Jesus's Knees?"
Other Person: "No...?"
Jesus: "Hey look at my Knees!"
Both People: *Faints

Jesus's Knees by Supreme Comrade Stalin November 9, 2018

Jesus H. W. Christ Sr. 

1. Jesus Christ's full name.

I can't believe I lost to a spammer in SSBU. Jesus H. W. Christ Sr.

Jesus H. W. Christ Sr. by Professor Sauce January 23, 2019

Jesus H. Christ 

Shortened version of the full name Jesus Hitler Christ.

"I don't know man, Jesus Hitler Christ sounds weird."
"So just go with Jesus H. Christ?"
"Yeah"

Jesus H. Christ by TrueLiesFromLife February 19, 2019

jesus wheeling 

the act of hydroplaning, or driving on water and losing complete grip of the road.
this act is usualy carried out by land pirates

"man it was raining so hard last night we were jesus wheeling on the highway"

jesus wheeling by Farlan Beck January 16, 2008