Hand Blumpkin

The act of jerking off while taking a crap.

“Chick left me, and all I’m left with are hand blumpkins.”

by Witch_Devil May 11, 2023

Jackpot hand

(Noun) A term used to describe a hand in poker that contains 3 sevens, or three of a kind sevens. This is derived from the idea that 3 sevens is considered the jack pot on a slot machine.

Since that 7 came out on the flop, I've got a jackpot hand!

by OlFashioned November 14, 2013

Scissors for hands

An expression used when someone points out that something in fiction doesn’t make sense, but it doesn’t matter if it makes sense because it’s fictional.

In Edward scissor hands a lot doesn’t make sense, but it doesn’t matter because it’s fictional.

Why is Thanos able to snap with gauntlets
on?
Reply: scissors for hands, Bro

by Dragontaz220 August 24, 2022

Casino Hands

Casino Hands: A term used to showcase to one's pet dog that the owner has no more food in their hands. It is performed by clapping the hands together and then separating them and giving the hands a quick shake. Exactly how a casino dealer performs this before switching off to a co-worker to prove that nothing is left in their hands.

"Man Sara, Duke is so damn crazy about food that he won't stop begging me for mine until I do the casino hands!"
"Brewer!! I just did casino hands! You know that Momma has no more food!"
"Jake I know you're hungry after your workout but damn! You're acting like my dog does until I do the casino hands. Bring a snack next time!"

by ShakinBaby January 27, 2018

hand molester

1. Feeling the need to molest your hand and then doing so
2. The act of molesting someone else's hand to show affection
3. Touching someone else in order to get their skin cells on your hand and then molesting your hand so you can eat thrie cells.

"Did you see him at the party? He is such a hand molester!"

by suspendernoob October 5, 2016

Sandwich Hands

When you have sandwich residue (sauce, seasoning, stickiness) on your hands during or after eating a sandwich.

I wasn't able to greet him due to my sandwich hands.
I couldn't use my keyboard due to my sandwich hands.

by Falcohol April 23, 2016

Hand Delivered

Ejaculation caused by stimulating the penis with ones own hand.

The lady wasn’t putting out last night so I hand delivered one myself.

by uniberg March 10, 2011