Praetorian Guard

The Praetorian guards were a force of bodyguards used by Roman emporers early on in the Roman Empire. Praetorians were not very good at they're job as they managed to kill off more emporers themselfs than they managed to protect, until one day an emporer, Constantine I, got the brilliant idea of disbanding the guard before they assassinated him too.
1: "how are we going to assassinate the emporer"

2: "don't worry his Praetorian Guard's have already done him in"

1: "..."
by Strike Z3R0 April 08, 2011
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Splooge Guards

Sexy, Nerdy Eyeglasses on a woman. Also handy for giving oral sex, it wat keeps the splooge out your eyes.
"Hey, Bro... who's the babe wearing the red splooge guards?"
by nfkiller August 30, 2008
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Point Guard

In basketball, the one that runs the offense and the one that usually lacks in points, yet is high in assists.
That point guard has 15 assists and 5 points.
This point guard cannot run an offense and should be moved to shooting guard.
by MAZZINI May 23, 2010
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noob guard

On a modern bicycle, the rear gears (called a cassette) are separated from the spokes of the rear wheel by a plastic disc. The purpose is a preventative measure if the chain slips off into the wheel, the spokes are not destroyed; which keeps the rider safer from injury. However, if the limits on the derailleur are adjusted correctly, this should never be an issue. Typically, the plastic discs are removed from a newly purchased bike, else the cyclist will be considered a newbie or noob by colleagues.
Mr. Spandex: "You haven't removed your noob guard yet?"
New Biker: "Isn't it there for a purpose?"
Mr. Spandex: "It's just extra weight!"
by Philip the Water Tank December 31, 2010
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Cum Guards

Another name for eyeglasses. Also used to prevent ejaculation from entering eyeball, causing temporary blindness, and uncontrollable laughter.
Those chicks at the table are looking at us, lets go talk to them.
Ok, I'll take the one with the cum guards.
Cool.
by xxachary December 01, 2014
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Vagi-Guard

the protector of your virginity. quite commonly your father.
i'm going to the party with Sam tonight.
If only your vagi-guard knew about this..
by Tonicxboom September 11, 2008
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Guard-dogging

When you want something to not be found so you shit near or on object to deter someone from finding it.
Yo butter cheeks is guard-dogging the hennesy his mom will never find it!
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