all of my cards are on the table

A person's declaration that they have revealed everything that they know or feel about a subject.

I've told you everything I think and there's nothing more I can say here. All of my cards are on the table.

by Daniel Long December 27, 2007

walking tabloid

Someone who spends all his time making up fake stories about his ex because he wants people to feel sorry for him.

He is a walking tabloid and the only people that will listen to his made up stories about her are the gutter trash losers that subscribe to him.

by LaDeena July 4, 2009

my table

oh noooo

my table: it's broken :(

by cloude <3 October 30, 2021

Nassau Coliseum Table

A freestanding table in any kind of restaraunt that usually consists of a "four top" or a "deuce" that Obnoxiously wobbles.Efforts are made to remedy this by placing matchbooks,sugarpackets,etc under one or more of the tables baselegs in an attempt to stablize the wobbling ,but alas failing to stablize the table. this gets its name from The Arena Club at the Nassau Coliseum,which was notorious for being plagued with many of these tables during the 1980's and 1990's and little was ever done to fix this problem until they renovated the club and replaced all of the tables.

My girlfriend stained her blouse at dinner last night after spilling her red wine due to the wobbly Nassau Coliseum table.

by Jim 1533 July 26, 2009

Kitchen Table

This is a 5-way gay sex position that consists of 5 different roles. First there is the table himself who is leaning over at a 90 degree angle. To help support him, we have the table legs who is supporting the table by laying face up on the floor supporting the table’s chest with his feet and jerking off the table with his arms. Then, there are two chairs. Chair one is fucking the table in the ass and the other is getting sucked off by the table. To finish off the position, there is the tablecloth which is another guy, laying face up on top of the table, being blown by chair one and making out with the other. Only the table legs is getting the short end of the stick and therefore positions should be rotated however the weight of the table and the tablecloth must be considered. Heavier men are suggested to be the chairs or table legs.

“Bro please tell me you didn’t post the video of us doing the Kitchen Table on your story”

by Constaqueef December 30, 2018

tableweed

After a night of smoking marijuana and probably consuming mass amounts of alcohol at the house, one can wake up and find this amazing, FREE substance in their own living room. Tableweed takes the form of small green morsels of pot, usually scattered around where the blunt(s) were rolled or the bowl(s) was packed. Tableweed is the best hangover cure, period.

Stoner#1: Fuck man we smoked all our pot last night.
Stoner#2: Dude did you check for tableweed?

by winkler December 9, 2008

British tabloid

Comic-style newspapers that appeal to the working classes and are easily recognisable by page 3. Shit news, columns written by C-list celebrities, everything new is controversial and other shit. Most popular are the sun, the daily star and the mirror.

mind control from Rupert Murdoch and other media-barons.

by Gumba Gumba February 22, 2004