Masturnating

The act of Nate Aikening so much you are bad at sports, like volleyball

"Man, he is really bad at volleyball today. He must have been Masturnating all night long."

by zig12 June 6, 2009

Dick Measuring

Commonly used when two guys or friends are arguing and one friend brings up a point to counter his friend point, but in theory it is just a stupid and or irrelevant point.

Steve: Do you ahve any enemies? what about the guys you jipped on the deal..

Joe: How did you know about that!?! Well what about you and not going to help Bob in the bad deal he made?

Steve: This is no time for dick measuring, who did you do a bad deal with....

by iPr4nk July 6, 2009

Magnolia The Masturbinator

The most awesome power known to man--the power of MASTURBATION!!!

Dude, did you pull one off last night?

Yeah man, I went all 'Magnolia the Masturbinator' on mah dick last night, forreal.

by Liz Fucking Donnelly September 26, 2009

maturing

the art of forgetting those whom will never be remembered.

maturing is a part of life. accept it.

by justsomefregginchick December 19, 2011

Dick measuring contest

Something you try to win if you're the kind of guy that thinks a female would rather have sex with you than cut your dick off. Whether you have 2 or 4 inches of hard dick, or 8 to 10 inches of flaccid dick, if it's laying out in a cornfield in the moonlight, what's the difference? The blood is black either way, and it's no longer attached to the rest of you.

If you ask females, having sex with a female, having sex with nobody, and cutting a guy's dick off would be before having sex with a guy on a list of things to do that day. Perhaps Lorena Bobbitt flipped a coin, heads he keeps his dick, tails his dick goes in the cornfield, and she didn't tell him which way the coin flip went until he woke up the next morning. That would be a way to suprise a guy that put more importance in coming first in the dick measuring contest than anything else in life.

by The Original Agahnim June 30, 2021

Masturbaginity

The thing most 13 year old boys lose the first time they open a JCPenny catalog to the bra section.

The greatest gift a boy or girl can give to themselves.

I'm almost ashamed to say she took my masturbaginity. (Reaction to having seen what plastic surgery has done to Niki Cox's face.)

by Thaddeus82 January 16, 2009

Masturine

A derivative of the Gaelic word "rochardcochpee" it directly translates into urine of the mast. It is when you urinate with a rock hard erection, often while simultaneously ejaculating. It is something that only a select few can master, and when done inside of a women is considered a huge compliment. Most will deny wanting such an act out of fear of embarrassing their partner due to the level of difficulty involved, but every single female desires this.

"Hey man did you hook up with that girl last night?"
"Not only did I hook up with her, I filled her with masturine"

by RoderC January 16, 2019