masterbating date-imitater

The guy who imagines a whole date with a girl using his hand as the girl. He'll cook diner and then just makeout with his hand too scared to make a move, c,mon you know they exist....

.....also, he may put clothes on it, even name it

Doug: "Hey Rocco, remember Norb?"

Rocco: "Ya, man, he used to try and get me to talk to Julie, ...I mean his hand, ...really freaked me out man.

Doug: "Dude I know, he was a classic case of a masterbating date-imitater."

by deliverer of babys January 16, 2011

trick masturbating

When you think you are "trick fucking" someone else, but end up screwing yourself in the end.

First used by the American Eagle Air Line Pilots Association on June 13, 2012.

If you try to set a booby trap for someone and it back-fires on you, you just wasted your time trick masturbating.

by Captain Esquire December 17, 2012

Crying while masterbating

The depressive state where your hunger for vagina overshadows your temporary sadness. This state often results in the victim masterbating over violent porn, using his own tears as lubricant as desperate howls of anguish escape his lips.

B.A. was crying while masterbating after someone paid out his altezza tail lights the other night.

by Anal ejaculator January 12, 2012

masturbating

Having sex with your own hand or even using a fake dick (dildo) in the case of girls (or very messed up guys)... its very pathetic.

John is masturbating every night because he has no hope of ever having actual sex.

by CanHasHaxx February 5, 2009

ego masturbating

verb, intransitive The act of looking up oneself's first name on urbandictionary in an attempt to produce an ego high by reading the overflow of entries made by other people complementing their boyfriend or girlfriend. Those who exhibit this phenomenon typically have a forever alone relationship status, do not receive complements from family and friends, or, if done in the company of others, are being attention whores.

Olive: Hey look, guys! I looked up my name on urbandictionary, look at all the nice things people have said about me!

Joe: Shut the fuck up, you ego masturbating attention whore.

by didnotstealhisbike July 25, 2011

Mastarbating

Pleasuring yourself to the night sky

starwanking

"I was mastarbating to Orion's Belt last night and reached my highest climax.

by meetmasheen May 23, 2017

Masterbating window licker

A person that follows you , annoys you, and always seems to be standing behind you . He or she tries to do eveyones job but their own with an intelligence level of a fucktard

Did you just see that masterbating window licker

by Whoswho 1 June 4, 2018