tesco lottery

The Tesco lottery is a game played by people who get deliveries of groceries from the supermarket chain Tescos.

Tescos seem to be remarkably bad at packing one's whole order in full and without bits of other people's orders. Thus, some deliveries you find you are missing a few items; you have lost the Tesco lottery, as some other person has your smoked salmon... however, you just call Tesco and get a refund.

Now, somewhere else there is a person with your smoked salmon and somebody else's bottle of vodka, but they are missing some toilet paper; they call Tesco and get a refund on the toilet paper, but keep the other stuff they didn't order; they have won the Tesco lottery.

The fun thing with the Tesco lottery is that the only real looser is Tesco.

1. "I won the Tesco lottery today... I didn't get a bottle of Pepsi, but I did get two bottles of wine, a pack of coco-pops and some rump steak in exchange; oh, and of course I called Tesco for a refund on the Pepsi."

2. "Damn it, I lost the Tesco lottery! Where's my wine, coco-pops and steak? All I have is this Pepsi I didn't order. Oh well, I'll keep the Pepsi and get a refund from Tesco on the missing stuff."

by Aoife303 November 22, 2006

Lemon Luster

A more formidable form of lemon furniture cleaner used by E&M Commercial Maintenance.
Commonly mistaken for the vastly inferior Lemon Pledge....

Brian: Why the F*** do you keep using Lemon Luster?
Matt: You do not pay enough for me to afford Lemon Pledge, and stop referring to me as a maid from family guy.
Brian: No... no.. no... More Lemon Pledge...
Matt: I fucking hate you.... You know that right?
Brian: Lemon Pledge?

by MAttE+M June 25, 2019

COVID Litter

The debris found in parking lots, roads, and other places related to COVID. Examples include masks and empty bottles of hand sanitizer.

I almost tripped over some COVID litter when I went to the store today. There were old, dirty masks everywhere.

by Dr Piggapuss March 24, 2022

Bank Drive-thru Lottery

You enter the Bank Drive-Thru Lottery when you pull up to the drive-thru at the bank, and all the lanes are filled. You have to make the very important decision to choose which lane will get you through faster. Often times, people will sit back several car lengths from the drive thru lanes, waiting for a lane to move. These people need to grow some balls and make a decision to enter the Bank Drive-thru Lottery. The most risk involved with the Bank Drive-thru Lottery is getting stuck behind Bank Drive-thru Asshole.

Lost the Bank Drive-thru Lottery this morning. Got caught behind Bank Drive-thru Asshole, and made it thru an entire CD of songs before my turn in line came up. I also managed to get lung cancer from breathing in Bank Drive-thru Asshole's oil-burning fumes.

by mad genius December 8, 2010

poopin in the litter box

The act of poopin in your roomates cats litter box after you find a curdled feline terd on your pile of clothes in your closet and get so mad you squat in the hubblest of ways and poop on some fresh step, hoping the cat will be as offended as you were, but probably won't mind it and your roomate gets to handle the situation.

Jeff was just poopin in the litter box, cuz he was pissed off, and hates your nasty ass cats.

by vegamite spread. July 20, 2012

expedite this letter

one of the best songs in the universe like lil durk need his dick sucked from the back for this song .

you heard expedite this letter?
girl yeah that shut heat omm !

by - k November 29, 2022

fuck you lottery

when everything that is in your life has turned to shit, congratulations! you've won fuck you lottery!

it is the only lottery that you are guaranteed to win.

jon, just won fuck you lottery yesterday when he wrecked his car, found his girlfriend banging another guy before he was going to announce that he was diagnosed with brain cancer.

(he would of told his parents but they eaten by a bear earlier that morning while camping)

by _psyco July 30, 2010