Laser-Ham

Dear god, if you're looking this up it may already be too late for you. They are the dark ones, the decimators, the destroyers of civilization. The only actual sighting of them has reported them to look like abnormally large pieces of ham with glowing red eyes, who can shoot lasers strong enough to cut through anything. It's believed that the Bermuda Triangle is actually a den to these creatures, and the triangle is formed by three stationed hams firing lasers. They are commonly reported at redacted but seem to disappear by the time anybody arrives. One citizen who claims to have seen the Laser-Hams claimed that they were ruled by an "AbraHAM Lincoln", an Abraham Lincoln who much resembles our own, but instead has a piece of ham around his right eye, which is replaced with a glowing crimson one. It is not proven true or false if this entity exists yet.

Doomed person 1: "Dear god, the Laser-Ham, they're coming!"
Doomed person 2: "What's that? Are you insane?"
*Laser sounds and screaming of doom*

by The Drawer Goblin February 28, 2021

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brown laser beam

liquefied shit

my arse was bubbling and i sit down on the toilet and a jet of liquefied shit shot out my ass like a brown laser beam

by spaff61 November 30, 2011

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Related Words

Laset • laset hound • Lasett • lasette • LASER • laetitia • lametard • lametastic • Laser Tag • laser pointer

Poo laser

Forceful, violent, watery diarrhea.

Buttered coffee is good, unless you're lactose intolerant and have a resistance to java. Then, it becomes a poo laser.

by driverone January 13, 2014

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Titty Lasers

The vestigial defensive reflex of a female to compress her breasts, producing a high intensity laser, intended to ward off the opposite sex and nothing else

I tried to make a move on Lucy, but she chased me off with her titty lasers

by The Captian May 5, 2015

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