The alleged psychotic gunman that went on a shooting rampage in January 2011. Characterized as being a virgin, talking in circles and simple riddles, and shaving all the hair off his head.
by The Simpletonian January 19, 2011
Get the Jared Lee Loughner mug.One of the greatest Mexican Strikers ever. 2nd most prolific striker in the world by 2005. and is the number one scorer in Mexican history. he played in the Mexican Futbol (soccer) leauge for awhile. until becoming the first ever Mexican born player to play in Englands FA Premiership. signing with Bolton. he is currently playing for the Saudi Arabian club Al-Ittad
by 9JBorgetti August 19, 2006
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Below you will find when to say "No Jareds" and what it means when you use them.
1. When someone says "no johns", or no excuses, to something where you have a very legitimate excuse. Using "No Jareds" as a retort means the person saying "no johns" has no basis to say "no johns" and are thereby wrong.
2. When you are correct but the other person refuses to acknowledge or accept that you are indeed right. "No Jareds" in this case means you are in fact correct but the other person is just too stupid, ignorant, and proud to accept it. No matter what, they won't admit they are wrong and you are right.
3. When someone is joking about something and then someone else (the person to whom we'll call Jared) calls you out on that and tries to use it against you.
4. When you blatantly lie about someone in desperate hopes to make others laugh. This also includes taking your own faults and declaring the other person guilty, thus being a hypocrite. Also, see the more general term, no jareds.
1. When someone says "no johns", or no excuses, to something where you have a very legitimate excuse. Using "No Jareds" as a retort means the person saying "no johns" has no basis to say "no johns" and are thereby wrong.
2. When you are correct but the other person refuses to acknowledge or accept that you are indeed right. "No Jareds" in this case means you are in fact correct but the other person is just too stupid, ignorant, and proud to accept it. No matter what, they won't admit they are wrong and you are right.
3. When someone is joking about something and then someone else (the person to whom we'll call Jared) calls you out on that and tries to use it against you.
4. When you blatantly lie about someone in desperate hopes to make others laugh. This also includes taking your own faults and declaring the other person guilty, thus being a hypocrite. Also, see the more general term, no jareds.
Definition #1:
Guy 1: So why didn't you go to the dance?
Guy 2: I was sick... (legitimately sick)
Guy 1: No johns!
Guy 2: No jareds!
Definition #2:
Guy 1: So, how much protein do you think is in a cup of grapes?
Guy 2: Hm, I'd say about one gram.
Guy 1: HAHA YOU IDIOT, MY MOTHER WHO IS A PATHOLOGIST SAYS THERE ISN'T ANY PROTEIN IN GRAPES!
Guy 2: Really..because nutritiondata.com states otherwise.
Guy 1: What..I-- No, that is just an unreliable ".com" blogging site, I choose to believe my mother; you are wrong and I am right.
Guy 2: No jareds...
Definition #3:
Guy 1: Christmas is on December 25.
Guy 2: No it's not! (joking, using a silly voice)
Guy 1: Yes it is, it always has been and always will be.
Guy 2: I was kidding, learn to take a joke. No jareds!
Definition #4:
Guy 1: Wow you immature nub, stop abusing your admin powers!
Guy 2: ..You barely have any powers and still abuse everything you can in the game. You think I would give you more to mess with? NO JAREDS
Guy 1: So why didn't you go to the dance?
Guy 2: I was sick... (legitimately sick)
Guy 1: No johns!
Guy 2: No jareds!
Definition #2:
Guy 1: So, how much protein do you think is in a cup of grapes?
Guy 2: Hm, I'd say about one gram.
Guy 1: HAHA YOU IDIOT, MY MOTHER WHO IS A PATHOLOGIST SAYS THERE ISN'T ANY PROTEIN IN GRAPES!
Guy 2: Really..because nutritiondata.com states otherwise.
Guy 1: What..I-- No, that is just an unreliable ".com" blogging site, I choose to believe my mother; you are wrong and I am right.
Guy 2: No jareds...
Definition #3:
Guy 1: Christmas is on December 25.
Guy 2: No it's not! (joking, using a silly voice)
Guy 1: Yes it is, it always has been and always will be.
Guy 2: I was kidding, learn to take a joke. No jareds!
Definition #4:
Guy 1: Wow you immature nub, stop abusing your admin powers!
Guy 2: ..You barely have any powers and still abuse everything you can in the game. You think I would give you more to mess with? NO JAREDS
by Complete Truth December 2, 2009
Get the No Jareds mug.A sexual position of controlled thrusting, such as while pressed against a wall, whereupon the man is able to paint the fingernails of his partner for mutual sexual pleasure and a great manicure.
I was cruising round Little Venice, when an ombre-hued hunk with piercing blue eyes and lashings of black eyeliner approached me. I immediately took him back to my boiler cupboard and disrobed. He spun me around and pinned me to the wall; I spread my legs, he plunged inside me. He stood still, and produced a riding crop. With one sharp smack to my buttock, he yelled "Yeehaa", and I was on my way. As I was thrusting against his rigid rod, I saw him reach for my 219 Black Satin Chanel nail polish. He uncapped it slowly, and teased open the lid. Beginning with my left hand, he proceeded to stroke the brush against my bare nail, several times. To my immediate arousal, I saw he too was wearing 219 Black Satin Chanel nail polish.
After he had finished the first hand, I felt a sharp smack on my other buttock, whereupon he exalted another "Yeehaa", while proceeding with a whip and dip. He then started on my right hand, my fingers trembling as I continued to thrust; yet I contained my excitement. As he delicately coloured my nails one by one, I thrust harder, and faster. Finally, he reached my pinkie finger, and with the final stroke we both let out a loud "Yeehaa" and collapsed in a heap, satiated and manicured.
- Oh my god, you wont believe what I got up to last night, I met this super hot guy and he Jared Leto'd me.
After he had finished the first hand, I felt a sharp smack on my other buttock, whereupon he exalted another "Yeehaa", while proceeding with a whip and dip. He then started on my right hand, my fingers trembling as I continued to thrust; yet I contained my excitement. As he delicately coloured my nails one by one, I thrust harder, and faster. Finally, he reached my pinkie finger, and with the final stroke we both let out a loud "Yeehaa" and collapsed in a heap, satiated and manicured.
- Oh my god, you wont believe what I got up to last night, I met this super hot guy and he Jared Leto'd me.
by Little Venice January 28, 2014
Get the Jared Leto'd mug.Very annoying. If your name is jared bank you problem have poor grades and no friends, and jared's are known for being obsessed with ducks... and very tall.
Girl 1: Did you see jared bank in class today?
Girl 2: yea. He's weird. Did you see that duck he had?!
Girl 2: yea. He's weird. Did you see that duck he had?!
by Haroldduck123 November 30, 2016
Get the jared bank mug.The world's second creepiest looking Jared, behind Jared Kushner.
He was the spokesperson for Subway (The Subway Guy) because he was obese and lost weight by eating subway sandwiches instead of other fast food. He also made a charity called the Jared foundation, which was only to improve his image. From 2010, him, and the chairmen of the Jared foundation, Russell Taylor, went on a spree of child pornography, soliciting minors, and preying on minors. In January of 2015, Russell Taylor was arrested, he would later plead guilty and get 27 years in prison.
After a long FBI investigation, Jared Fogle was arrested in July of 2015, and was later released on a $1 million bail. In August of 2015, he pleaded guilty, and in November of 2015, he was sentenced by a judge to spend between 13 and 15 years in prison. He was taken into custody and has been in prison since November 2015, with early release possibility in November 2028.
He was the spokesperson for Subway (The Subway Guy) because he was obese and lost weight by eating subway sandwiches instead of other fast food. He also made a charity called the Jared foundation, which was only to improve his image. From 2010, him, and the chairmen of the Jared foundation, Russell Taylor, went on a spree of child pornography, soliciting minors, and preying on minors. In January of 2015, Russell Taylor was arrested, he would later plead guilty and get 27 years in prison.
After a long FBI investigation, Jared Fogle was arrested in July of 2015, and was later released on a $1 million bail. In August of 2015, he pleaded guilty, and in November of 2015, he was sentenced by a judge to spend between 13 and 15 years in prison. He was taken into custody and has been in prison since November 2015, with early release possibility in November 2028.
Jared Fogle and Jared Kushner (Donald Trump's son-in-law) are in close competition for the title of the world's creepiest-looking Jared, but Jared Fogle sure wins the title of worlds creepiest-acting Jared.
by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx January 27, 2021
Get the Jared Fogle mug.Jared is the name of the most amazing person alive. Most likely the name of a great saxophone player. The sound of his voice makes my heart glow and his eyes are as deep as the sea with many meanings. I could see into them forever and get lost in his eyes and forget everything around me but him. Just one smile from Jared and my heart beats a bajallion times. The touch of his hand sends electric shocks through my heart and i need to tell myself to breathe. When I see him i feel fearless. I feel alive. I feel special. Most of all, i feel loved. I love you <3 :D
I love Jared<3
by SamiLeigh13 September 21, 2011
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