Crumpeting

A British public school tradition generally practised by the upper classes, in which a crumpet is super-heated, covered in butter, and thrust between the buttocks of a chosen schoolboy. Often used as an initiation ritual. The crumpetee is expected to clench the hot crumpet between their buttocks as the butter runs down their backside, burning them. Should they allow the crumpet to fall, a greater punishment is often chosen.

This tradition is also practised among young gentleman's dining clubs and junior commissioned ranks of the military.

"I say, old boy! If Jenkins is to join this dining club, I expect him to tolerate a jolly harsh crumpeting!"

by Gizchern May 14, 2009

Alge Crumpler

1. Said in dismay when something too easy gets completely screwed up.

2. When you're not paying attention to your surroundings and are completely taken by surprise.

Used along with "Oh God.." for maximum effect.

Origin: On the NFL Network, Deion Sanders coined the phrase. Michael Vick had Alge Crumpler wide open, no one within 15 yards of him. Vick instead begins to throw the ball short, and Deion exclaims, "Oh God..Alge Crumpler!"

<Mike> Sorry I can't stop farting, man..

*2.1 seconds later, whiff of funk pierces Jim's mind*

<Jim> Oh God...Alge Crumpler!!

by NefariousThey February 9, 2007

Crompton

To say that someone acts very gay but is known to be married or in a heterosexual relationship.

"Dude that haircut makes you look like a crompton"

by Timeq2 December 27, 2009

Crumpter Pot

A ribbon used to mark your place in a book, magazine or other reading material.

"I can't find my book mark."
" Would you like to use my Crumpter Pot!"

by Mike Trom March 30, 2009

mr crumpton

A person who usually has a spot on the side of their nose and has a phone in his top pocket recording people at school

Mr crumpton is a lovely man who gave me sweets

by Me crumptons fave person December 17, 2018

Crumpet bum

Slang used for someone with celulite on their bum, it gives the effect of a crumpet! Also a built up residue of anal crap due to lack of ass wiping abilities

Lad: holly hell look at that crumpet bum over there! She aint been ass wiping

by Jollyrodgerey November 6, 2014

crumpf

To defecate. Specifically, to defecate on another individual, often for sexual pleasure or humiliation.

You might want to avoid that bathroom, I just walked in on a guy crumpfing on two midgets.

by Bearded Justice May 25, 2015