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i wouldnt kick her out of bed if she farted 

A way to describe a girl who may not be the hottest chick around but is still pretty good, can also describe an object which does the job
Dude 1: So what do u think of lisa?
Dude 2: I mean I wouldnt kick her out of bed if she farted but I'd probably go her sister
Related Words
Shelby sheep sheesh sherm Shea sheeple shenanigans sheepshagger shell shebang

Turns out she's Crazy 

what men say to others when asked why they is no longer in a relationship. the man knows she broke up with him. But in a attempt to keep his pride intact he says. "turns out she's crazy"
other guy: Hey bro your face book says your single. what happened?

Guy: we broke up, Turns out she's Crazy

That's what she said 

Remark intended to make a normal statement sexual. Some people use this against statements that couldn't be construed sexually, thus making it very annoying.
Guy 1: "You suck"
Guy 2: "That's what she said"
Guy 1: "Dude stop it"
Guy 2: "That's what she said!"
Guy 1: "That one wasn't even funny!"
Guy 2: "That's what she said!!"
Guy 1: "Dude, keep it up and I'll stab you!"
Guy 2: "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!!!!... hey wait that one actually work- *Gets punched out by Guy 1* OWWW!! That was rough!"
Guy 1: "That's what she said"

IF SHE BREATHES 

Yo I swear,if she breathes.....”
IF SHE BREATHES by ThatOneThug December 10, 2018

i didnt say she stole my money 

This sentence is funny because it takes on a new meaning with every word you emphisize
See below
I didnt say she stole my money
i DIDNT say she stole my money
i didnt SAY she stole my money
i didnt say SHE stole my money
i didnt say she STOLE my money
i didnt say she stole MY money
i didnt say she stole my MONEY

Oh, she's just tired 

A poor excuse by bad parents who don't discipline their kids when they misbehave. Generally, that excuse only works once but not every day.
Mindy: Come here, Carrie! (Picks her up)

Carrie: (kicks and screams) WHAAAAAAAHHHH!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! NO!! WAAAAAAAAAA!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! (hits Mindy in the face a few times)

Mindy: What's wrong with Carrie?

Carrie's mom: Oh, she's just tired...she didn't get her nap today...

Mindy: But she acted like this yesterday when she DID get her nap!!!!