jesus juice

Yeah very funny. It's a terrible wine. They just call it that to make it sound glamorous or something. And the food stinks. Usually, this junk, you know? Even if you like to eat, you couldn’t eat it.
Yeah but sometimes, you see, it’s not that easy, you know what I mean? It's not all the cupcakes and Jesus juice like you might assume.
by The Zug September 19, 2007
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Jesus Chatline

A religious chat line run by two pastors, Richard Burnish and Steven Chilton. It is commonly trolled by channel 4 users and people who have nothing else to do, like the reader who looked this definition up.
Bob: Hey, whats that religious streaming service called?

Mike: Oh, Jesus Chatline!
by Dank Tellituby May 13, 2017
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black jesus

Something that white people hate and can not admit since the real Jesus was black.
White Person: Jesus was black? NO WAY! TIME FOR SUICIDE!
by bebo January 11, 2005
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Jesus shoes

flip flops or sandals, must have a strap between one or more toes, can be any material but leather is prefered
he came back from the beach and is still wearing his jesus shoes
by oneofone May 09, 2013
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Jesus class

A required class in catholic private schools, most often pertaining in some way to a god-and-man hybrid. Usually accompanies discrimination against women, other religions, homosexuals, etc. Generally the classes, intentionally or not, use inaccurate history and facts. Typically teachers are ignorant as to actual origins of feast days, traditions, holidays, and the like. Frequently denies scientific theories.
"Aly, why aren't you praying?"

"It's quite simple. Though your 'Jesus class' says otherwise, religion is fundamentally opposed to everything I hold in veneration--courage, clear thinking, honesty, fairness, and, most of all, the truth."
by Natsuki August 06, 2008
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Jesus fucking

When you fuck so hard and fast that you die and then revive 3 days later, and then get sent up to god's bedroom to do the same thing there.
Person 1: where the hell am I?
God: in my bedroom
Person 1: how did I die?
God: Jesus fucking...
Person 1: what?! Why am I in your bedroom
God: cause someone who can Jesus fuck only appears every 2 thousand years, now get in bed...
by A complete joke April 23, 2017
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