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Apple Jesus

When your iphone or MacBook dies, they go up in the Cloud to Apple Jesus.

When an Apple product is sick and you need just long enough to let your contract run out or get them backed up, you pray that they don't go see Apple Jesus yet.

Apple Jesus lives where the Cloud is.
I still owe $200 on my iphone 6, so it can't go see Apple Jesus yet!

I lost my iphone today. I am praying to Apple Jesus that my photos I took last night are really up in the cloud.
by Ms Busta Rhyme June 16, 2017
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Jesus Velocity

When a massive or difficult project is finished in a relatively short amount of time.
Luke McKinny, cracked.com Over three days, I saw a Beijing street torn up, disemboweled and resurfaced. The roadway was made whole at Jesus velocity
by Krashlia July 4, 2012
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Gabriel Jesus

The best average player to grace a football pitch. HIs touch on the ball is mediocre but he can still steal the ball...and your girlfriend. FUCK YOU HES THE BEST
Ugly girl: WHo even is Gabriel Jesus?
Hot Girl: THE BEST PLAYER IN THE FUCCKING WORLD
by Lightskin Lovely April 5, 2022
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Jesus on a stick

a weird food they sell at the Korean Presbyterian church down the street
Dude have you had the Jesus on a stick?
yeah man it tastes pretty good
by theczechspam May 9, 2018
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Jesus's Knees

The holiest and most sexy knees you will ever see. They are powerful enough to kill half the universe if Jesus touches them together.
Person: "Oh my god, have you seen Jesus's Knees?"
Other Person: "No...?"
Jesus: "Hey look at my Knees!"
Both People: *Faints
by Supreme Comrade Stalin November 9, 2018
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jesus wheeling

the act of hydroplaning, or driving on water and losing complete grip of the road.
this act is usualy carried out by land pirates
"man it was raining so hard last night we were jesus wheeling on the highway"
by Farlan Beck January 16, 2008
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botanical Jesus

(or the green Savior)
Cannabis.
-Produce 4 times more cellulose (to make paper) than wood on the same surface every season (a tree takes years to be usable).
-Its fiber is better than cotton AND ecological. Used to make anything that use fibers (clothes, accessories, rope, etc).
-Cultivation-wise it has the qualities of a "bad" weed : hardy, prolific, low maintenance (ecological and economic).
-Produce a healthy cooking oil. The oil can also be used for fuel.
-Quality, tasty food, drinks and protein can be made from it.
-Marijuana has a wide range of medical uses (painkiller, anti-glaucoma, appetite stimulant for cancer and AIDS patients, etc). With no nasty side effect.
-Cool looking leaf. Decorative and symbolic.
-Last but not least. The safest recreational drug. Would prolly be voted The best recreational drug in a worldwide poll.

Personally I use it only to get high (you prolly do too) but the other uses make a lot of people and the environment happy too.
Let botanical Jesus into your lungs !
by Qu4rtzRox July 21, 2005
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