television

A big part of the fucking jew controlled media which infests every dumb cocksucker out there with shitertainment and what to buy to keep up with the numbnuts next door.

people with no brains and no lives of their own have television to tell them that they do.

by rayp April 25, 2005

fuck me silly with a telepnone pole

missed something that came back to bite ya in the ass
Thanks to gordie who fucked up a lot

the irs is going to audit you and you forgot something "well fuck me silly with a telephone pole"

by mike s April 5, 2005

telephone shit

When you take a shit and it comes out looking like a telephone. It's curved at both ends (earpice/mouthpiece) and has a long straight middle (handle).

Also, a shit so big you need to telephone your friends to tell them about it.

Person 1: Damn! I just took telephone shit. Look at it, it looks like one of those old-fashioned telephones.
Person 2: Holy crap, you're right! Dude, get the phone.

by c.o.e. June 21, 2007

telejerk

Someone who works from home, and communicates exclusively by email. Often after-the-fact and the voice of dissent, they waste time with long email threads instead of meeting face-to-face, or at least on the phone.

Bob: Who's this butthead Ralph who keeps sending emails poo-pooing our ideas?

Jack: Oh, he's some telejerk Terry hired last year.

by TissPee July 1, 2008

telepathetic

The opposite of reading someone's mind. When somebody assumes you know what they mean, when actually, you don't.

Somebody asks you to get them an ice cream, and you bring them a scoop of strawberry on a cone. The person responds, "Strawberry?... You know I like chocolate, and I eat it in a cup..." You respond "Sorry, I can't read minds, I happen to be telepathetic."

by A Man Named "H" March 1, 2010

telecannabinesis

A phenomenon in which people who are high on Marijuana share mental wavelengths. This can manifest in many ways including but not limited to; a friend whistles or hums a song that you were just thinking about, says something aloud that you were just thinking, texts or calls you at the same moment that you were going to text or call them, happens to be smoking pot elsewhere at the same moment you are, or you and a friend say the same thing at the same time.

Although these phenomena do occur for people who are not under the influence of Marijuana, the frequency of these phenomena seem to increase for people who are.

TEXT MESSAGE:
Dude what are you doin?

-Just blazin' and listening to Derp by Herp&theDerps. This song is so amazing when you're high.

OMFG ARE YOU KIDDING? I'm doing the exact same thing! We've got telecannabinesis!

by Stankmeista July 8, 2011

telegod

power superior female named marlena

telegram chat: im so sick of these boring unloyal hoes, i wish there were more telegod's like marlena.

by xXxmarlenaxXx June 1, 2017