Jonathan

Another word for an amazing liar. No lie, a Jonathan makes the polygraph look like a bitch. . Tends to be mediocre-looking, with a boring personality and cruel intentions, but somehow managed to snag hot chicks his entire life up until recently (probably because he's good at playing the nice guy which goes hand-in-hand with the lying). But it soon becomes painfully obvious that the Jonathan is not interested in pretty girls, except for social status. They much prefer ugly girls who clean a lot. A Jonathan excels at stealing these ugly girls from his "friends" and tends to wife them up because he sucks at cleaning. DO NOT, under any circumstances, trust a Jonathan around your homely, housewife fiancée. Next thing you know, you'll be finding her oversized panties behind the couch from when they're hooking up while you're at work. Or better yet, DO let these guys come around if you're engaged to a heffa you're trying to get rid of. A Jonathan will take the grenade for you, so despite all his other shitty qualities, this makes him a real wingman.

Jonathans can be easily identified by their blue eyes and standoffish personalities. You also might find them in the company of a single alpha male friend whose behavior the Jonathan will try to emulate, and fail miserably at. But you will not normally find a Jonathan in a large crowd, for they terrify him. Also, most people think Jonathan is a giant douche canoe.

"I don't know how that guy went from a hot, awesome chick like that last one to the loose, pasty, busted slut he's dating now. He must be a Jonathan."

"That Jonathan did me a huge solid when he stole my whale of a fiancée. Turns out, I'm actually not a huge fan of busted looking faces and being nagged for dumb shit all the time. Thanks Jonathan! You the real MVP."

by Wtfsrsly May 14, 2015

jonathong

Having or containing a 3XL-4XL thong that is tight around your croch or head. Soon to be a famous brand.

Dude, you have a jonathong on your head!!

by t3rd December 6, 2006

the jonas brothers

teh jonas brothers are a boy band, with 3 brothers{kevin,21, joe,18, and nick,16.
the jonas brothers are not like most disney stars they are decent. but like people going crazy over them is just retarded. Nick was dignoised with diabetes at 13 years old. the song"a little bit longer" was about his diabetes which is an ok song but like seriously people crying over it is fucked up. Seriously he is not the only one with diabetes in the world. besides he has type1 diabetes people have even worse so teh people crying over him could just shut the fuck up he is not the only one with dibetes. And kevin is just way 2 old 2 be a disney star and he might just turn out gay.

person1; Hey did u see the jonas brothers yesturday on disney.
person2: hell no they suck and what the hell is up with their pants im mean seriously girl i dont even wear jeans that tight.

by xoxhudaxox January 3, 2009

jonas brothers

an okay band. they're lyrics DO have some meaning and the tunes and the beats are alright. but the fanbase of this group is way too much. i swear every single jonas fan out there is like a crazy stalker. but anyways...there an okay band(what do you expect, there underage) that gets way to overhyped. well they're better than Hannah Montana

crazy girl:OMG OMG!! THE JONAS BROTHERS ARE COMING TO MY HOMETOWN!!!!! *jumps around and falls*
me:chill out, its not like Paramore is coming!
crazy girl:YOUR JUST A FUCKING HATER!! YOU CAN GO DIE AND BURN IN HELL!!

by jadali March 16, 2008

Jonathon

The name of a paticuarly annoying friend or incident. Could be used to replace "moist".It is the word for someone or something that is so annoying or idiotic that it cannot be explained any other way.

"Dude, I had such a Jonathon day"

"I hate that guy. He's such a Jonathon"

"My girlfriend broke up with me"
"Jonathon times for you"

by don'tforgetthemilk1414 November 13, 2011

Nick Jonas

Youngest band member of the Jonas Brothers.
16 years old, extremely talented as he can play guitar, drums, piano, AND sing.
Is the concrete form of LOVE. <3
Known for his beautiful curls,
he is amazingly beautiful and loveable.
Though can be quiet/shy.
Has Diabetes Type 1.
Wrote 'Can't Have You' about Pancakes.

Nick Jonas, are YOU creepin'? ;

by LoBar March 7, 2009

Jonah

a kid who's ugly and nobody likes him because of that.

Ya, that kid is probably a Jonah.

by rachelz May 17, 2018