turd burnishing

Trying to polish or perfect something that doesn't benefit from, or is worthy of, such effort.

I spent four hours editing my latest Urban Dictionary entry - I'm such a turd burnisher.

Our boss spent the whole retreat going back and forth on our "Mission Statement" - we burnished that turd but good.

Give David the newsletter / social media project - he loves turd burnishing, and is damn good at it.

by Bono Lex January 31, 2014

turd serpent

When you take a huge dump that comes out in all one piece and shoots down the toilet drain with only a small fraction of the turd showing

Tom was horrified after he realized a turd serpent had came out of his anus and clogged the toilet.

by Turdserpentcreator November 30, 2014

turd wannabes

Loosely held together feces that is too solid to be considered diarrhea yet too divided and "small-chunkish" to be considered a turd. These inferior poop chunks are notoriously known for the pain and uncomfortable feeling they give. Since they consist mainly of water and generally have low-poo density (see Type 5 and 6 on the Bristol Stool Scale) these "fluffy pieces with ragged edges" will definitely sour the remainder of the day. Being in relationships to alcohol, these chunks almost always making an appearance during a DADS. Worse yet, they are forever jealous of the their more popular turd brethren. They are turd wannabes.

My DADS this morning was awful; it consisted mostly of water, pizza, and turd wannabes.

by Idontfunkwithyou March 13, 2015

Turd knife

The long knife that one uses to cut up with their turds in order for them to be flushed down the toilet.

I have to poop has anyone seen my turd knife?

by Intmd8er March 30, 2015

turd teeth

One who's teeth are disgusting like a crack or meth head with stank breath!

Dude, he had turd teeth!

by Craycray75 March 31, 2015

turd blaster

A person who spend a lot of time in the toilet at work

Person 1: "Hey where's the turd blaster again?"
Person 1: "He's turd blastin a shatapult"

by r3r3.omfg May 28, 2016

Turd Hurdler

A person who lazy, unorganized, and messy. One who just throws anything and everything where ever and is content with leaving it there.(i.e. 'throws shit everywhere')

Person 1: "I hear you guys got a new mechanic in the shop"

Person 2: " Sure did, his name is Marshall"

Person 1: "Same guy who worked over in Byers"

Person 2: "Yep, what you know"

Person 1: " Good luck, he used to be my old roommate, dudes a turd hurdler "

Person 2: "Well crap, just got rid one those"

by BeanBuddy86 August 11, 2016