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by AlownAgainstTheWorld May 25, 2023
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small off duty czeckslovakian traffic warden

A Banana

originally An outburst from Kryten on the sitcom Red Dwarf as he triyes to lie by saying that the banana is an orange
"its a orrrrrrr, its an orrrrrr its a... its a Small off duty Czeckslovakian traffic warden!"
by MaxZero September 8, 2005
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traffiction

Traffiction is a fabricated or embellished story detailing a chaotic scene of gridlock conceived and delivered in an effort to explain one’s tardiness or absence from work / a party / your wedding / etc.

Good things to reference when telling a traffictional story:
1. Man on fire (include details like, “waving his arms wildly”)
2. Godzilla
3. Broken-down bus of cheerleaders
4. Volcanic eruption
5. Scene from Armageddon (just don’t mention Bruce Willis)
6. Sanjaya
Example of traffiction:
Wow, I know I’m late, but there was the most incredible accident on the Beltway that tied me up for hours! I was moving along making great time, when up ahead I could just make out a cow wandering onto the highway. I guess the tractor trailer ahead of me didn’t see it –he must have been going at least 80 mph. The explosive impact had cars screeching to a halt and ended in a massive pileup. I was able to stop in time, but it still took the workers and clean-up crew several hours to carve a path through the cars and meat. As I finally passed by the (now totaled) tractor trailer, I noticed the mangled Chick-fil-a logo…irony can be so cruel. So, anyway…did I miss the birth of our son?
by Trevor Browne December 28, 2008
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traffic

the movement of something. Could be cars, drugs, people for sex, ushually something illegal and something you should not do.
by ppy_luv July 2, 2008
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Blunt Traffic Jam

When two or more blunts rotate around a circle at different speeds, eventually causing a blunt to "Traffic Jam" behind the other blunt(s).
Yo man, hurry up and pass that blunt, there's about to be a B.T.J. (Blunt Traffic Jam)!
by Dr. Julius Erving December 2, 2010
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Traffic Sign

A common tattoo located at the lower back of some females. Basically to direct a (stoned) male where to put his genitalia.
Without seeing Lisa's traffic sign, Chad would have been to stoned to find her pussy.
by mjoblio May 31, 2004
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Murphy's Traffic Law

The simple fact of reality which states that whenever one is in a hurry, one or more of the following effects are experienced when driving a car:

-Chance of encountering consecutive red lights is increased.

-When in an intersection, chance of having a left turn larry in your line is increased.

-Chance of getting stuck behind an extremely conservative driver or a naturally slower vehicle is greatly increased.

Basically, the Murphy's Law of driving. If you need to get their fast, you're going to get their less quickly.
Boss - You're late.

Flunky - Sorry. 6 red lights in a row, got stuck behind an 18-wheeler, and it seemed like everyone just wanted to turn left today.

Crony - Murphy's Traffic Law. Respect.
by magzillas November 7, 2010
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