Desk Douche

any annoying twit at your job or other location that you unfortunately had to interact with. One who is full of him/herself and full of sh*t. (do I even need to add that you're tempted to punch them in the head or is that a given?)

see also: side-kick douche

"omg, I couldn't focus on my work, that annoying desk douche, Derek, was making the rounds and boasting to everyone on how he single-handedly saved the company millions when it was really the contractor that was hired that was responsible for it."

"when the desk douche swings by my desk, his annoying conversations make my brain want to jump out of my skull and run away screaming."

"desk douche thinks that his/her rude, inappropriate jokes are hilarious, but no one else is laughing...no one..."

by sandycan January 7, 2012

Desk bone

An erection that occurs at work which requires one to stay at their desk until it goes away.

I was late for my meeting today because I had a wicked desk bone.

by RekanizeBlacKat December 30, 2017

desk jerk

The act of masturbating at your desk when nobody is around; masturbation after everyone has left work for the day. Excrements are usually caught by a fast-food napkin or nearby trash can.

Frustrated with a project, I decided to knock out a desk jerk one night I was working late.

by heavyburtation April 27, 2011

Desk squeezer

Where you shit your pants and jump as high as you can landing your ass on your desk.

Did you see Christina do a desk squeezer? Shit was everywhere!

by Randirt February 9, 2018

Desk Dome

Fellatio performed in conjunction with the act of doing homework.

Guy: Man, all this homework is killing me. I need a stress reliever, but I don't have any time.
Girl: Hmm, I can fix that problem.

Guy: Really? How so?
(girl kneels down)
Girl: Just keep doing your work.
(girl performs blowjob)
Guy: Thanks for the desk dome!!

by gatordomelover September 23, 2010

Hot Desking

The act of several people taking turns sitting their bare anuses onto a bound individual, forcing them to perform analingus on the participants who take turns on them. Commonly played game in the BDSM and gay leather community.

"At the International Mr Leather convention last year, there was a competitive "Hot Desking" event. Pig Marco won first place after successfully sticking his tongue into the most anuses in under a minute"

"The gang bang only got interesting when they hot desked that whore for an entire hour before she got lockjaw and tapped out"

by Rox My Box January 29, 2019

Desk Haircut

To have wild, furious sexual intercourse with or including an individual and his or her secretary

Man 1: "What's John doing?"

Man 2: "Clearly, by the noises being emmited from his office, John is giving his desk a haircut..."

by Brinda Filangi September 7, 2005