Friendship prayer

A hilarious chain email

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of anyone who fucks up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch. Amen.

Friendship prayer by OMGWTFBBQ! October 25, 2004

swear prayer 

A profanity-riddled plea or simply a string of four-letter words said aloud when you think all is lost, but still hope there's a chance things will turn out in your favor.

I was so convinced that the client was going to fire me, I said a swear prayer with every four-letter word I know. Miraculously, they ended up praising my work!

swear prayer by skychair August 23, 2019

Doing A Prayer 

A task gang weeders must partake during every sunrise as a form of prayer to the joker-god to protect yourself from the mental and spiritual anguish of getting friendzoned. The prayer is done via the use of Bongs, joints, blunts, bowls, dabs, hash, carties etc.

Normie: Why the hell does he smell like skunk at this time of the day?
Red-pilled gangweeder: He’s doing a prayer, to shield himself from the spiritual and mental anguish from Veronica friendzoning him.

Doing A Prayer by lukashenho_ July 2, 2018

milk jug prayer 

The prospect of answered prayer is generally relegated to any one of three possible responses: Affirmative (your selected mountain is now relocated), Negative (nope, negative, try again later) and perhaps (you're not quite worthy yet, hold please, etc)
Realistically, there are NO OTHER POSSIBLE responses to each and every given prayer offered to each and every god.

In prayed for rain last night.
Really? Why?
Well. We really need some rain for our crops to grow.
Mmm, I see. Well, prayed for it NOT to rain because my daughter's wedding is this weekend.
The good thing is that the whole process is fatally flawed; my milk jug prayer has the same odds as yours, sucker!

milk jug prayer by YAWA July 21, 2022

patrick mahomes prayer 

When you are playing football and are about to or are in the process of getting sacked ( probably because your o-line is ass) and you still make a complete pass.

I told that boy say the Patrick Mahomes prayer and chuck the ball and hope it lands and we won 67 to 21

patrick mahomes prayer by The joker of Philosophy April 24, 2022

exam prayer 

Any of the many prayers students utter/speak/think before entering an exam. Generally most often found in colleges during finals and midterms by students looking for some kind of divine intervention on these crucial tests.

Sample Exam Prayers:

Oh god help me, I forgot to study, please answer each question for me and make sure it's correct!

I have studied hard and did my best, but for those parts in which I lack, please guide me.

As I lay my pen to pad,
I forget all answers that I had.
So if you want me to trust your name
You'll do me good, and play this game.
Answer each question and make me pass
Or I'll be back next year in this class.
And I'll switch to Hindu out of spite
Cause Buddah will answer questions right!

exam prayer by Mitch Chez February 23, 2007

Livin' on a Prayer 

In reference to the Bon Jovi song which is widely played by cover bands in bars predominantly in New Jersey and Philadelphia. Most widely covered during the summer season at the Jersey Shore. A phrase used to describe a person who is too old to be hanging out in the same bars with the young crowd each night when they should have moved on in life. Someone who is clinging to the lifestyle of a highschool graduate or college student.

Although all of his friends are now working full time and are married, Mike is still livin' on a prayer every weekend.

Livin' on a Prayer by DGF678 May 5, 2009