Jared

Jared is obsessed with bath bombs

Jared: Shit bath bombs taste good

by EvanHandSoap August 13, 2018

Jared

The smartass person in your group that gets all a's and has a high ego

George: The answer is actually .2, get your facts right

Cacey: Dont be such a Jared

by Jojomodojo November 22, 2016

Jared

Jared is a very outgoing person. He tries often to make people notice him and goes to great lengths to do so. On his off time, Jared usually finds himself sleeping or reading a book, or both at the same time. Jared works out often so its no surprise that he's a player.

Did you see that new kid Jared? He seems really smart but he's kinda loud..

by Napoleon Dynamight March 25, 2019

Jared

An oustanding everything. He can literally do what ever he wants when he wants.

That guy is so cool. He must be a jared

by Kid in the box January 29, 2015

Jared

A person you can count on to bring Alize to a party.

Do we have any Alize? No, but Jared should be here soon.

by fastwalker December 1, 2011

Jared

Jared Fogel, of Subway diet fame, lost 245 lbs in one year eating Subway fare. Lots of rumors about AIDS, coke, bypass surgery, but he apparently did it honestly.

Fat Bastard, to Austin Powers: "I went on the Subway diet, like Jared and lost 180 pounds. Unfortunately, now my neck looks like a vagina."

by Dr. Dutch Evil April 18, 2006

Jared

A good name that his been ruined by that pedophile from subway.

Girl: What's your name?
Guy: Jared.
Girl: Oh, like that pedo from subway?

by Super Nigger Faggot September 22, 2018