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Humpty-Dumptied

This wonderful event starts out with a man sitting on a wall to show off his crotch to a woman he has a crush on. To show the woman that he is mating material, he will hump the wall in hopes of moistening her lady garden. However, he does not realize that humping the hard wall will stimulate his spinky and cause a great fall... of shit. The poopy will land below on the woman, and all hopes of mating will be crushed.
Tyrant: Yo boss, happy Friday. Any fun plans for the weekend?

The Boss: Yea I was gonna go to the Meat Market tonight for some juicy Italian sausage, but I accidentally Humpty-Dumptied my wife last night and I gotta make it up to her.

Tyrant: Bro... you’re gonna have to explain this one.

The Boss: Okay.. so I hopped on our little wall between our living room and kitchen and figured I would try to turn her on. Turns out.. I only turned on my shit wagon and inadvertently plopped a log right on her dome. Safe to say I won’t be getting dome for a while.

Tyrant: Damn dude I’m so sorry to hear that. Hope she doesn’t get POO-TSD from that. Next time wear your Shitbit, as it would’ve warned you that logs were a brewin’.
by Stoney69 December 18, 2020
mugGet the Humpty-Dumptiedmug.

Humpty Dumpty

One partner puts an egg (uncooked, in the shell) up their butt and the couple goes on a date. If the egg breaks, the partner with the egg gives head to the other and if it doesn’t, the other partner retrieves the egg and makes breakfast (after giving head).
Hey babe, should we Humpty Dumpty tonight at the pub? Our friends will never know. Hehehhe
by corub69 January 7, 2024
mugGet the Humpty Dumptymug.

Humpty Dumptus

The act of performing a number two; a dump; relieving one's bowels
I will be back, I must go perform a humpty dumptus
by TW1ST3R November 28, 2012
mugGet the Humpty Dumptusmug.

humpty dumpty

kid: humpty dumpty, who said he was an egg
by MrSLAY March 27, 2024
mugGet the humpty dumptymug.

Humpty dumpty

Person:have you seen Shea kearns

Person 2: Aye head on him like Humpty Dumpty
by Crt November 26, 2022
mugGet the Humpty dumptymug.

humpty-fuck

In interface development, the act of taking a shitty, broken, shattered visual design, data model, or prototype and putting it back together to form some sort of pristine fuckin' egg to serve up to the user.
"Let me get this straight. You want me to humpty-fuck that shit into something usable?"
by MangoBonespurs October 17, 2018
mugGet the humpty-fuckmug.

humpty ass

My humpty ass forgot to save my paper and I lost it when my computer crashed.
by Taco Tea Co. May 19, 2006
mugGet the humpty assmug.

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