A man takes the upper-back of the toilet off and sits on it. A woman gives him a blowjob as he takes a crap in the back of the toilet. After crapping and the blow job is done, he puts the lid back on the toilet.
An unsuspecting person comes in later and uses the toilette. When they flush the toilet it fills with brown water from the crap the man took in the upper deck.
An unsuspecting person comes in later and uses the toilette. When they flush the toilet it fills with brown water from the crap the man took in the upper deck.
“I was over Al’s house and I upperdecker double blumpkin’d his toilet. That thing was flowing brown all day”
by Stephen Roche September 21, 2019
Get the Upperdecker Double Blumpkin mug.Noun. The art of recieving a blumpkin while the toilet is clogged or stuffed, and the water is in the top of the bowl. When feces are released, the increase in volume requires the toilet water to be expelled on to the face of the person giving the afformentioned blowjob.
My buddy clogged the toilet when he flushed the baby down there, and the water was going all over the place. My dirty bitch went down on me anyway and she gave me a splash blumpkin.
by John Slivka January 1, 2007
Get the splash blumpkin mug.Related Words
Morty made frequent trips to the office restroom, but never when the janitor who calls Costa Rica is there, because that janitor like to give Blumpkins.
by Von Hayes February 21, 2007
Get the blumpkin mug.While you are sitting on the toilet, taking a crap, you're partner is giving you a blow job wearing a sombrero, which is filled with tortilla chips and salsa. Upon finishing, your partner looks up and says "Ole!"
While in the bathroom relieving myself of the taco bell I ate earlier, my partner came in and gave me a blumpkin fiesta!
by sedonamaei October 16, 2010
Get the blumpkin fiesta mug.The blumpkin burger is a more extreme version the already grotesque blumpkin, where the receiver of the blumpkin, as he is about to ejaculate, reaches down into the toilet bowl, grabs a piece of his feces, and slaps the giver across the face with it. The resulting block of feces looks similar to a burger patty, thus the name “blumpkin burger.” It is about as rare as a South China tiger and maybe as difficult to pull off as a golden hailstorm.
For the even more adventurous: there’s a variant called the bumpkin Big Mac, which involves double the hands, double the feces, and double the cheeks. The end result looks like McDonald’s famous burger which puts two patties layered between three buns.
For the even more adventurous: there’s a variant called the bumpkin Big Mac, which involves double the hands, double the feces, and double the cheeks. The end result looks like McDonald’s famous burger which puts two patties layered between three buns.
After forty years of marriage, Doris and Peter hit a roadblock in their sex life. Peter now has ED, but Doris still craves that good good. So, one night, Doris found an article with ways to spice things up in the bedroom.
“A blumpkin, huh? Interesting…”
The next morning, Peter hit the john as he normally did. As he sat down, he was startled to a nude Doris in front of him.
“W-what are you doing?” / “Giving you what you need.”
As she went down on him, Peter could actually feel his penis working properly for the first time in years, and he was actually pretty turned on. But he couldn’t shake the fact that this sex act was incredibly filthy. She was almost ruining his favorite time of the day.
In an act of rage, right as Peter started to reach the plateau, he used his left hand to pull Doris down, deeper onto his member, far enough so she couldn’t see her surroundings. With his right hand, he reached behind him and into the toilet bowl, grabbed a piece of feces and, right as he was finishing inside her mouth, pulled Doris off his penis with his left hand and slapped her with the poop patty in his right hand, gracing her with the coveted blumpkin burger.
“WHAT THE FUCK DORIS?”
“I DID IT BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE YOU PETER,” she retorted while semen and feces sprayed out of her mouth.
As tears streamed down her face, Peter couldn’t help but be slightly aroused by the whole situation, so he looked Doris in the eye and then proceeded to make copious love on the bathroom tile.
“A blumpkin, huh? Interesting…”
The next morning, Peter hit the john as he normally did. As he sat down, he was startled to a nude Doris in front of him.
“W-what are you doing?” / “Giving you what you need.”
As she went down on him, Peter could actually feel his penis working properly for the first time in years, and he was actually pretty turned on. But he couldn’t shake the fact that this sex act was incredibly filthy. She was almost ruining his favorite time of the day.
In an act of rage, right as Peter started to reach the plateau, he used his left hand to pull Doris down, deeper onto his member, far enough so she couldn’t see her surroundings. With his right hand, he reached behind him and into the toilet bowl, grabbed a piece of feces and, right as he was finishing inside her mouth, pulled Doris off his penis with his left hand and slapped her with the poop patty in his right hand, gracing her with the coveted blumpkin burger.
“WHAT THE FUCK DORIS?”
“I DID IT BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE YOU PETER,” she retorted while semen and feces sprayed out of her mouth.
As tears streamed down her face, Peter couldn’t help but be slightly aroused by the whole situation, so he looked Doris in the eye and then proceeded to make copious love on the bathroom tile.
by mrboochieman May 21, 2015
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