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loch ness monster

An unidentified animal living in Loch Ness, the largest body of fresh water in Britain. It first came to the attention of the general public in the thirties when a London surgeon R.K.Wilson took a photo of what looked like the head-and-neck of a dinosaur-like creature. What with The Lost World and RKO's King Kong in the cinema, there was an explosion in public interest. The monster's image, however, was to be forever tainted by the pantomime which followed, in which a game big hunter called Wetherall came to Loch Ness and discovered footprints on the shore. The tracks turned out to have been made by a hippo foot, which was some kind of ashtray or other keepsake. What kind of a big game hunter couldn't work out that they were all hippo tracks made by the same foot I don't know, but he left Loch Ness. In 1994 the now-famous surgeon's photo turned out to be a fake, a model on a toy submarine made by Wetherall - revenge on the world that mocked him. Over the years there have been a number of photos and films of unidentified creatures in Loch Ness. Some have been proved as fakes (to be honest, I wasn't surprised when the surgeon's photo turned out to be a fake. I'd always thought there was something odd about it). But there is still strong film evidence and a lot of eye-witness evidence to support the existence of a long-necked animal of some kind. Modern scientists often dismiss eye-witness evidence as non-evidence. I'm glad they're not running the judicial system, otherwise they'd have every prisoner released. What doesn't help is a decidedly vulgar merchandising industry which has turned the monster into nothing more than a theme park attraction. The official Loch Ness exhibition centre now officially doesn't believe in Nessie anyway. Their cinema now shows visitors a film telling of all the reasons why Nessie is a hoax, accompanied by silly music. You leave the cinema at the end of the film and are then confronted by a shop selling plush Nessies, Nessie mugs, china Nessies, Nessies with tartan hats and endless other over-priced junk. Personally I'm sure there were unidentified animals in Loch Ness until recent years. I think, what with their proven sensitivity to noise, and what with Loch Ness now covered in countless noisy boats of every shape and form, that whatever was in the Loch has either died out or returned to the sea never to return. Either way, I think it's better for the welfare of these creatures that their existence is never proved.
Newsflash, 3/4/2011:
The existence of long-necked creatures in Loch Ness has been proved. Now every science laboratory in the world wants one to dissect. Every zoo wants one, and every gourmand in the world wants to taste the flesh of one in some revoltingly over-priced restaurant.
Within the year, the loch ness monster will be as dead as dodos and Stellar's sea cows.
by StormSworder August 16, 2006
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nessa

The term used when a person is so cool...even the word cool is not cool enough...
that is so nessa......= )
by lou.... July 27, 2006
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Related Words
NESSN Nessness ness nessa nessie Nessy Nesan nessed Nessia nessler

Bo'ness

Hell on earth. A town in Scotland which Mordor from Lord Of The Rings was based on. The town is populated by the scum of the Earth, e.g. Jakies, Junkies, tinks, bums, tramps, crackheads, Emos and people who make/watch Scat. Bo'ness is the reason why Hitler didn't invade Britain. Real name is Borrowstoneness, but the people who live there are illiterate, therefore unable to spell that.
Retard - "Shit man, it's gonna take 3 hours to get to Grangemouth that way, why don't we just go through Bo'ness?"

Sensible guy - *Blows retard's head off*
by Merryweather April 22, 2006
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loch ness monster

Ach! Back to the loch with YOU nessie!
by Omgwtfbbq October 10, 2004
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nessa

nessa is usally a name for girls who are in painnnnnnnnnnn
i think nessa is in painnnnnnnnnnnnnn
by timotheeismylifeee September 27, 2020
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un-ergonomic-ness

1) To not be the very nature of ergonomic. The opposite of ergonomic.
2) A made up word by Digo Raccoon upon the discovery of those 8-bit nintendo controllers and how he used to play on those things and not get sore from them.
My hands are sore from the un-ergonomic-ness of those controllers.
by Stragus Magus July 29, 2003
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A Loch Ness Monster

A bowel movement so great in length that the end of the feces is protruding from the toilet water thus resembling the "Loch Ness Monster".
Some sick bastard left a Loch Ness Monster in the work bathroom.
by Bender77 May 30, 2008
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