Skip to main content

Jehovah Witness 

verb - The act of achieving orgasm so hard that you actually see the face of God.
Man, that bitch from the Kingdom Hall and I went out last night, you know the one, the Elder's daughter? Yeah, well she was sucking my dick so hard and she jammed her finger in my ass. Well, I Jehovah Witnessed right in her mouth! I thought I died and went to heaven cuz God was right there. We goin' out again tomorrow.
Jehovah Witness mug front
Get the Jehovah Witness mug.
See more merch

jehovah's wittness 

1a) A cult like socity, that does not celebrate the following hoildays:

1b) 1.christmas! ( omg are you serious)

2.thanksgiving! (code name: turkey: because they belive we worship the turkey!! again OMG!)

3.halloween! ( Demons!! Demons!!)

4.Birthdays!! (yes birthdays!! so whats are still 7 dude it's been 30 years!!?!)( don't do birthdays because someone died on that day!!)

5.any and all government hoildays! ( so on laborday your ass better be at work!!)

2) JW's also are known for knocking on your door!, and trying to ""save your soul"" (on saturdays) and PO people on there day off!! they hand out pamphlets on the ending of the world. (what a way to start your day.)

3) CULT!

4) also a from of hide-n-go seek!!( HIDE there coming down the street!!)
steve: shhh.... you hear that!

paul: yeah!...what is that!

steve:...... O shit!! its those jehovah's wittness! kill the lights!!

paul: damnit i think they saw me!

steve: paul i'm scared

JW's:*knock knock knock* we saw yo ass. we aint leavin till you open the door!!

both: NOOO!!!
jehovah's wittness by paul y steve November 28, 2009

jehovah witnessing 

the act of pissing every person you come in contact with off.
When the Jehovahs went Jehovah Witnessing, they pissed everyone they came in contact with off.alot alot alot.
jehovah witnessing by Mardi and Gras February 20, 2009

Jehovah's Witnesses 

The 144k sequestered Witnesses testifying in the longest trial in history. They're not supposed to talk about the trial but can't help themselves and won't shut up about it. At the kangaroo courthouse the defense will Cross-examine the hostile Witnesses and then call the Methodists to the stand to discredit all of Jehovah's Witnesses. Whether Kato Kailin is to testify is still uncertain, nonetheless, the trial is expected to wrap up around the year 3030 with Judgement Day sometime in April, however the JW legal team will almost certainly appeal the decision and demand a re-trial.
Headline: "Christmas Cancelled Again!! Persecution to call Jehovah's Witness #133,411 next week." also: "Jehovah's Witnesses Watchtower leaflet discovered in chambers - Judge Judy to Step Down"

In Other News: "Muslim Jihadi explodes onto the scene, siezes the lead in the race to heaven - #144,001 enters Pearly Gates as Donny & Marie's bicycles are damaged by mysterious bombing excommunicating them out of the race - Utah outraged."

Politics Today: "Burning Bush singes eyebrows during pagan oil and fire ritual and false idol worship of wealth and power"

Jehovah's Witnesses 

people dedicated to God to do his will, or rather are led to believe that they are doing gods will
"The Jehovah's Witnesses came to the door today I just told them that I wasnt interested and they kept talking so I shut the door, but they refused to let me by placing their foot in the door, So I asked them to leave before I called the police to have them removed"

Jehovah's Asian 

When a Dirty Little Asian starts believing in god and tries hard not to have impure thoughts about women.
Eugene doesn't talk about Julia the way he use to. He turned Jehovah's Asian.
Jehovah's Asian by Chu Mei November 18, 2017

Jehovah's Witness 

It's when a guy blows a load in your ear.
When he was done he did a Jehovah's Witness on me and I'm still having trouble hearing out of the ear.